A CUT BY SIR PETER.
WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY ANACREON, PETRONIUS, CERVANTES, HUDIBRAS, AND “PUNCH.”
A CASE IN POINT, FROM ANACREON.
[Greek: EIS HEAUTON]ΕΙ᾽Σ ἙΑΥΤΟ´Ν.
[Greek:
Degousin ai gunaikes
Anakreon geron ei
Labon esoptron athrei
Komas men ouket ousas
Psilon de seu metopon.]
Λέγουσν αἱ γυναίκες
Άνακρέων γέρων εί
Λαβὼν ἔσοπτρον ἄθρει
Κόμας μὲν οὐκέτ᾿ οὔσας
Ψιλὸν δέ σευ μέτωπον.
A FREE TRANSLATION BY “PUNCH”—THE CUTTEE.
Oft by the women I am told
“Tomkins, my boy, you’re growing o!d.
Look in the glass, and see how bare
Your poll appears reflected there.
No ringlets play around your brow;
’Tis all Sir Peter Laurie-ish11. This is a graceful as well as a literal rendering of the bard of Teos. The word Ψιλὸν signifying nudus, inanis, ‘envis, fatuus; Anglice,—Sir Peter Laurie-ish ED. OF “PUNCH.” now.”
A TRIBUTE BY PETRONIUS.
Quod summum formæ decus est, cecidere capilli,
Vernantesque comas tristis abegit hyems
Nunc umbra nudata sua jam tempora mœrent,
Areaque attritis nidet adusta pilis.
O fallax natura Deum! quæ prima dedisti
Ætati nostræ gaudia, prima rapis.
Infelix modo crinibus nitebas,
Phœbo pulchrior, et sorore Phœbi:
At nunc lævior aëre, vel rotundo
Horti tubere, quod creavit unda,
Ridentes fugis et times puellas.
Ut mortem citius venire credas,
Scito jam capitis perisse partem.
A FREE TRANSLATION BY “PUNCH.”
Tomkins, you’re dish’d! thy light luxuriant hair,
Like “a distress,” hath left thy caput bare;
Thy temples mourn th’ umbrageous locks, and yield
A crop as stunted as a stubble field.
Rowland and Ross! your greasy gifts are vain,
You give the hair you’re sure to cut again.
Unhappy Tomkins! late thy ringlets rare,
E’en Wombwell’s self to rival might despair.
Now with thy smooth crown, nor the fledgling’s chops,
Nor East-born Mechi’s magic razor strops,
Can vie! And laughing maids you fly in dread,
Lest they should see the horrors of your head!
Laurie, like death, hath clouded o’er your morn.
Tomkins, you’re dish’d! Your Jeune France locks are shorn.
A SCRAP FROM CERVANTES.
“Deliver me from the devil,” cried the Squire, “is it possible that a magistrate, or what d’ye call him, green as a fig, should appear no better than an ass in your worship’s eyes? By the Lord, I’ll give you leave to pluck off every hair of my beard if that be the case.”
“Then I tell thee,” said the master, “he is as certainly a he ass as I am Don Quixote and thou Sancho Panza, at least so he seems to me.”—Don Quixote.
A COINCIDENCE FROM BUTLER.
Shall hair that on a crown has place
Become the subject of a case?
The fundamental law of nature
Be over-ruled by those made after?
’Tis we that can dispose alone
Whether your heirs (hairs) shall be your own.
Hudibras.
A CLIMAX BY “PUNCH.”
Sir Peter Laurie passes so quickly from hyper-loyalty to downright treason, that he is an insolvable problem. As wigs were once worn out of compliment to a monarch, so when the Queen expects a little heir, Sir Peter causes a gentleman, over whom he has an accidental influence, to have a little hair too. But oh the hypocrite! the traitor! he at the same time gives a shilling to have the ha(e)ir cut off from the crown. It is quite time to look to the
HEIR PRESUMPTIVE.
ANNOUNCEMENT EXTRAORDINARY.
PUNCH begs to state that, owing to the immense press of matter on hand, the following contributions only can expect insertion in the body of PUNCH during the whole of next week. Contributors are requested to send early—carriage paid.
N.B.—PUNCH does not pledge himself for the return of any article.
Turkeys—for which PUNCH undertakes to find cuts, and plates—unlimited.
Sausages, to match the above. Mem.—no undue preference, or Bill Monopoly. Epping and Norfolk equally welcome.
Mince Pies, per dozen—thirteen as twelve. No returns.
“Oh, the Roast Beef of Old England,” with additional verses, capable of various encores.
Puddings received from ten till four. PUNCH makes his own sauce; the chief ingredient is brandy, which he is open to receive per bottle or dozen.
Large Hampers containing small turkeys, &c., may be pleasantly filled with lemons, candied citron, and lump sugar.
To the Ladies Exclusively.
(Private and confidential, quite unknown to Judy.)
BRYANT has had orders to suspend a superb Mistletoe bough in the publishing-office. PUNCH will be in attendance from daylight till dusk. To prevent confusion, the salutes will he distributed according to the order of arrival.
TO PUNSTERS AND OTHERS.
PUNCH begs to state he is open to receive tenders for letter-press matter, to be illustrated by the
FOLLOWING CUT.
N.B. They must be sent in sealed, and will be submitted to a select committee, consisting of Peter Laurie, and Borthwick, and Deaf Burke.
N.B. No Cutting-his-Stick need apply.