WHAT IT MAY COME TO IN LONDON.
(As the Point has been nearly reached in Paris.)
SCENE—A Hall devoted to MR. EDISON's latest inventions. A Lecturer acting as Showman to a crowd of possible Customers.
Lecturer. And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, I must ask you quickly to make a selection. We have here wires from all parts of the world—make your selection. Those who wish to see the kinetograph at work will please go within. Operas with scenery always on hand. Here we have only telephones.
Mild Young Lady. Oh, if you please, a friend of mine was married three weeks ago, and she and her husband are staying at the Grand Hotel, Paris. Might I hear what they are saying. Here's their name.
Lect. (taking card). Nothing easier. (Speaking through telephone.) Put us on to Grand Hotel, Paris, Room 1564. (To Customer.) A shilling please, Madam. Thank you, and here you are.
Mild Y.L. (taking receivers). Oh, thank you. (She places them to her ears and then drops them hurriedly.) Oh dear me! She has kept him waiting, and he is using such bad language! You ought to have told me.
Lect. We can't guarantee language. Why, would you believe it, Madam, that sometimes we have complaints of things said in Norway! Pray Ladies and Gentlemen, make your selection. (To Intelligent-looking Stranger.) Can I tempt you. Sir? They are playing a new piece at Chicago. It is excellent, I am told—a domestic comedy. Next week, if it's successful, we shall produce it with scenery and effects on the kinetograph. Try it, Sir?
Intelligent Stranger. I don't mind if I do, (Raising receivers.) Call this a domestic comedy? Why I can hear firing!
Lect. Very strange, Sir. Nothing in the plot to account for it,
Intell. Stran. Stay, you say it's in Chicago! I know what the firing means! They don't like the piece, and they are shooting the Author!
Lect. Of course, Sir! (To Small Boy.) And now my little man, what do you want?
Small Boy. Please, Sir, I have got a shilling to spend in hearing something from somewhere all the world over.
Lect. (producing programme). Here is a list of our stations. You see we have wires laid on to all parts of Europe, Africa, Asia, and America. Next Tuesday we shall be in communication with Australia. And now, what will you have?
Small Boy. I don't know. Something exciting, please.
Lect. Well, you can hear, by taking these, a number of Astronomers discussing in Committee the transit of Venus. Or, if you listen to these, you will hear a chat about the floating of the next Russian loan, held in one of the centres of speculation, to wit, the Bourse at Vienna. Most interesting, I can assure you. Which will you have?
Small Boy. Oh, please, I don't care for astronomy, and am too young to understand finance.
Lect. Now, here's a Bull Fight—you can distinctly hear the shouts—and here's a Chinese execution.
Small Boy. Oh, that will be nice. Which shall I have?
Lect. Can't say—you pay your money, and you take your choice! And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, I am ready for your commands.
[Attends to other Customers as the Scene closes in. Curtain.