PHANTASMA-GORE-IA!
Picturing the Various Modes of Melodramatic Murder. (By Our "Off-his"-Head Poet.)
No. III.—THE REVOLVER MURDER.
From Bow comes the fur that's on his coat,
From Germany comes his watch;
His trousers the "London make" denote,
His accent is Franco-Scotch;
His liquor is Special Scotch;
He "guesses" much, and he says "You bet";
His manner is slow and sly;
His smoke is a Turkish cigarette,
For he is a Russian Spy—
A blood-seeking Russian Spy!
Oh! how will the woes of Virtue end?
'Tis late in the Five-Act play;
And Fortune still is dark Vice's friend,
And villany holds its sway,
Its truly wonderful sway!
'Twould scarce be the thing for Vice to crow,
And Virtue to sink and die;
The end must arrive some time, we know—
So bring on your Russian Spy,—
Come, out with your Russian Spy!
It cannot be long! The time is here
For Virtue to pardon Vice,
Providing he does not live too near,
Or call more than once or twice—
Look in more than once or twice.
But wrongs are not brooked by Russian gents—
They're awfully angry fry!
The hero may pardon past events,
But not so the Russian Spy,—
'Tis death from the Russian Spy!
So as humbled Vice up stage retires,
Forgiven by him, he'd slay
(A noble revenge the House admires,
By utterly giving way—
By sniffingly giving way)—
The Spy, with revolver, comes down C.,
And aims at the evening sky,
And down tumbles Vice, as dead as three,
From lead from the Russian Spy!—
Oh! accurate Russian Spy!