SOMETHING LIKE A COUNTY-COUNCILLOR.
(Being Evidence taken in the Palace of Truth.)
Question. And so you object to Theatres and Music-Halls?
Answer. Certainly; and know as much about one as the other.
Q. Do you approve of Shakspeare?
A. Certainly not; nor of any other playwright.
Q. Have you ever read a dramatic composition?
A. Never; it is against my principles to peruse such (so-called) literature.
Q. Then why do you object to the Author's work?
A. Because I know if I were Shakspeare or any of his colleagues, my writings would be entirely unfit for representation.
Q. Have you ever entered a Theatre?
A. Certainly not; and never shall.
Q. Have you visited a Music-Hall?
A. Emphatically no, and don't want to.
Q. Then why do you complain of them?
A. Because my imagination pictures them as indescribably horrible.
Q. How comes it that knowing so little, you have been sent to adjudicate upon so much?
A. Because I was elected by the know-nothings of the district I have the honour to represent.
Q. And what became of the rest of the constituency?
A. You mean the majority—oh, they didn't take the trouble to register their votes.
Q. Then you are the mouthpiece of ignorance and incompetence?
A. Certainly—but that is not a pretty way of putting it!