"CUT AND COME AGAIN."
The Annual New-Year's Dinner of Anti-Vivisectionists took place yesterday. The following was the menu:—
Oysters—eaten alive.
Turtle Soup—the Turtle having been exhibited for several days previously in a Confectioner's window.
Stewed Eels—chopped up wriggling.
Lobsters—-boiled alive.
Prawns—ditto ditto.
Curried Rabbit—trapped.
Pâtés de Foies Gras.
Roast Pork—Prize Pig, suffocated at a show.
Roast Veal—Calf bled to death to secure an elegant whiteness.
Problem.—- At the stranding-of-the-Howe trial there appeared a Witness, whose official position, it appears, is "Hydrographer of the Navy." What is a hydrographer? clearly, by derivation, "a drawer of water." But a ship also "draws water." Therefore, logically, a Hydrographer is a ship. But a ship is never put into a witness-box, where it would be quite at sea, but in the dock, where it could be quite at home. "Truly," writes our Puzzled Correspondent, "there is a muddle somewhere." Q. E. D.
A Cheerful Investment.—A Laughing-Stock.