"MOWING THEM DOWN!"
["He (Sir William Harcourt) confessed that he was not enamoured of these exceptional measures, and he resorted to them with extreme regret. But if he were asked for a justification of this motion, he would refer hon. gentlemen to the Order Book of the House of Commons.">[
Gunner Harcourt, loquitur:—
Exceptional measures I hate, I'd rather not always be battling; The good old "Brown Bess" I prefer, I confess, To a new (Parliamentary) Gatling. To fight in the old-fashioned way, Good temperedly, fairly, politely, Is more to my mind; but these fellows, I find, Will not let a leader be knightly.
If Balfour would only fight fair; And impose that condition on Bartley; If Joe would not ravage and shriek like a savage; Did Tommy talk less, and less tartly; Were Goschen less eager for scalps, And kept a tight rein upon Hanbury; Why then 'twere all right; we'd soon get through our fight And hatred in love's flowing can bury.
But no, they're like Soudanese blacks, All fury and wild ugly rushes. They shriek and they shock, and they hack and they hock, Till chivalry shudders and blushes. And so the machine-gun, I find, Is just the one thing will arrest 'em. They've quite lost their head, but a fair rain of lead Played on them will try 'em and test 'em!
Whir-r-r-r! George! how it's mowing them down, Their Advance-guard,—"Amendments" they dub them! They swarm thick and thicker. The handle turns quicker! 'Tis dreadful; but then we must drub them. As Courtney so gallantly said, 'Tis "deplorable"; troubles me sorely. But if Arthur and Joe won't make terms, why, you know, They really can't blame me and Morley!