THE "AUTOMATIC" CONSCIENCE.
[A late report of the Automatic Machine Company says that out of every twelve coins placed in the slot two are bad.]
Average "Honest Man" loq.:—
Put a penny in the slot? That is simply tommy-rot! If I want a cigarette, Or some butter scotch, you bet, If I put a penny in, 'Tis a bad one! Bits of tin, Workmen's tickets, discs of zinc, Aught that's rounded and will chink, Chips of copper filed to size, Tokens, counters—all I tries. Takes a lot o' trouble, too, To fake up a reglar "do." So for nix I often get Butter scotch or cigarette. Oh! it is a splendid joke! I should like to see the bloke When he turns 'em out! Oh lor! Twenty per cent. are shams—or more! Honest? Wot? To a machine? You must think me jolly green! The machine can't cop or blow! Automatics do not know. If I pop a "Frenchy" in, Or a lump of brass or tin, Who's to tell that I do not Put a penny in the slot?
In the Press.—The Cruelty of the Jap. By the Author of The Kindness of the Celestial.