CUSS-CONTROL.
I found myself, some time ago,
Growing too fond of cuss-words, so
I made a vow to curb my passions
And put my angry tongue on rations.
As no Controller yet exists
To frame these necessary lists,
I had myself to pick and choose
The words that I could safely use.
Four verbs found favour in my sight,
Viz., "drat" and "dash" and "blow" and "blight";
While "blithering" and "blinkin'" were
My only adjectival pair.
I freely own that "dash" and "drat"
At times sound lamentably flat;
And "blight" and "blow" don't somehow seem
Quite adequate to every theme.
When you are wishful to be withering
'Tis hard to be confined to "blithering,"
And to express explosive thinkin'
One longs for some relief from "blinkin'."
Still Mr. BALFOUR, so I hear,
Seldom goes further than "O dear!"
While moments of annoyance draw
"Bother" at worst from BONAR LAW.
Hence, if our leaders in their style
Are able to suppress their bile,
And practise noble moderation
In comment and in objurgation,
Why should not I, a doggerel bard,
All futile expletives discard,
And discipline my restive soul
With salutary cuss-control?