THE DREAM TELEPHONE.

I go to bed at half-past six

And Nurse says, "No more funny tricks;"

She takes the light and goes away

And all alone up there I stay.

And, as I lie there all alone,

Sometimes I hear the telephone;

I hear them say, "Yes, that's all right,"

Then, "Buzz, buzz, buzz," and then "Good-night."

And sometimes as I lie it seems

That people come into my dreams;

I hear a bell ring far away,

And then I hear the people say:

"Have you a little girl up there,

The room that's by the Nursery stair?

We are the people that she knew

Before she came to live with you.

"Tell her we know she bruised her knee

In falling from the apple-tree;

Tell her that we'll come very soon

And find the missing tea-set spoon.

"She knows we often come and peep

And kiss her when she's fast asleep;

We think you'll suit her soon all right."

Then, "Buzz, buzz, buzz," and then, "Good-night."

"WE ARE BACKING NORTHCLIFFE."

Poster of "John Bull."

"I SUPPOSE YOUR LANDLORD ASKS A LOT FOR THE RENT OF THIS PLACE?"

"A LOT! HE ASKS ME FOR IT NEARLY EVERY WEEK."