Rapid Promotion.
From a Parliamentary report:—
"Colonel Seely mentioned ... Major-General Seely said ... General Seely, replying ..."—Daily Chronicle.
"The canonical proceedings for the beatification of Pope Pius IX. and Christopher Columbus have been definitely abandoned. As the result of a very close investigation, it was decided that these two candidates lacked certain necessary qualifications; Pius IX. had signed death sentences and Christopher Columbus was held responsible for massacres."—Sunday Paper.
This news, we understand, has caused a painful impression at Amerongen.
Cook (allowing herself to be engaged). "ONE MORE QUESTION, M'LADY. CAN YOU COOK?"
Her Ladyship. "REALLY, I DON'T THINK THAT NEED MATTER."
Cook. "OH—DON'T IT? I WANT TO KNOW WHO'S GOING TO BE THE REAL MISTRESS."