DEMOBILISED DAYDREAMS.

At 10 A.M. or so (in bed,

With lowered blinds and curtains drawn),

There wander lightly through my head

Memories of ruddy dawn—

A thing I never could have said

Before we warred against the Hun,

For then, although I may have heard

That this phenomenon occurred,

I had no notion how the thing was done.

A stranger to the birth of day,

How many have I watched since then!

At least a thousand, I should say

(It seems to me like ten);

On Salisbury Plain, austere and grey,

Breaking night's gloom and deepening mine,

When, crawling forth, I used to see

Stonehenge all shaken visibly

By the rude Sergeant's bellow, "Rise and shine!"

Gilding the foam of distant seas—

And humbly then I bowed my neck

And sank forlornly to my knees

To swab the blooming deck;

A wealth of flaming pageantries,

When, in a dusty Indian fort,

I went to early morning jerks,[1]

Cursing the sun and all his works

And dripping perspiration by the quart;

In Egypt, too, a pallid glow

Through swirls of desolating dust—

There often have I watched it grow,

Fed up enough to bust;

In Palestine, uncertain, slow

(While standing-to, with drowsy eyes),

Herald of shells and, what was worse,

Waking the ancient Eastern curse,

A hundred thousand million ravenous flies.

Sombre, inspiring, radiant, chill,

Mysterious, wild, inert, ablaze,

A thousand times on plain and hill

The dawn has held my gaze;

Idly I dream of it, until

A sterner mood invades my brain

And I grow resolute. Here and now

I register a mighty vow

Never to see the beastly thing again.

ONE OF THE PUNCH BRIGADE.


"The Home Secretary gives notice that summer time will be brought into force this year on the morning of Sunday, March 30, and will continue until the night of Sunday-Monday; September 28129."—Scots Paper.

By which time, it is confidently expected, the Peace Conference will be over.


Road Sweeper. "WOT'S BECOME O' BILL? I 'AVEN'T SEEN 'IM FOR MONTHS."

Female ditto. "BILL! WHY, 'AVEN'T YOU HEARD? 'E'S PROMOTED. 'E'S ON THE BINS."