WAR AND SCIENCE.
Greek Officer. "Can't you think of something quick? The army is waiting and the enemy approaches."
Archimedes. "Science is not to be hustled, General. Just get your army to do a little plain fighting while I think out a fancy scheme."
SPANISH LEDGES.
Scilly.
The bells of Cadiz clashed for them
When they sailed away;
The Citadel guns, saluting, crashed for them
Over the Bay;
With banners of saints aloft unfolding,
Their poops a glitter of golden moulding,
Tambours throbbing and trumpets neighing,
Into the sunset they went swaying.
But the port they sought they wandered wide of,
And they won't see Spain again this side of
Judgment Day.
For they're down, deep down, in Dead Man's Town,
Twenty fathoms under the clean green waters.
No more hauling sheets in the rolling treasure fleets,
No more stinking rations and dread red slaughters;
No galley oars shall bow them nor shrill whips cow them,
Frost shall not shrivel them nor the hot sun smite,
No more watch to keep, nothing now but sleep—
Sleep and take it easy in the long twilight.
The bells of Cadiz tolled for them
Mournful and glum;
Up in the Citadel requiems rolled for them
On the black drum;
Priests had many a mass to handle,
Nuestra Señora many a candle,
And many a lass grew old in praying
For a sight of those topsails homeward swaying—
But it's late to wait till a girl is bride of
A Jack who won't be back this side of
Kingdom Come.
But little they care down there, down there,
Hid from time and tempest by the jade-green waters;
They have loves a-plenty down at fathom twenty,
Pearly-skinned silver-finned mer-kings' daughters.
At the gilt quarter-ports sit the Dons at their sports,
A-dicing and drinking the red wine and white,
While the crews forget their wrongs in the sea-maids' songs
And dance upon the foc'sles in the grey ghost light.
Patlander.
"REMARKABLE OVAL SCORING."
Evening Paper Contents Bill.
We have made some remarkable scores of that shape ourselves in the past, but we never boast about them.
"He believed that the English pronounced in the streets of London in, say, 200 years' time, will be much different, if not unintelligible, to the man of to-day."—Daily Paper.
Just like the English in some of our newspapers.
"The Secretary of State for India is not persona grata either to the British House of Commons or to the British public. That is the old-fashioned English of it."—Bangalore Daily Post.
It would be interesting to see the old-fashioned Latin of it.
"Will any Lady Recommend Country Home of the best where 2 precious Poms can be happy and would be looked after for 6 weeks? Surrey preferred."—Morning Paper.
Think of their disgust at finding themselves boarded out in Sussex or Kent.
"Young Hungarian Lady with English and German knolidgement wants sob with English or American Organization."—Pester Lloyd.
Laugh and the world laughs with you;
Sob and you sob alone.