"QUITE ENGLISH, YOU KNOW."
(Latest Version, as sung by President Cleveland.)
May I ask you, Columbia, this lady to note?
She's English, you know; quite English, you know.
(What effect will this have on the Democrat Vote?
She's English, I know; quite English, I know.)
She comes from a country that's cursed with a throne;
Yet I think, in your interest, she ought to be known.
She may help you to deal with your Surplus o'ergrown.
(That's not English, you know; not English, you know.)
Chorus.
I'll ask you, Columbia, this lady to hear;
She's English, you know; quite English, you know.
Her form, which is slim, and her eyes, which are clear,
Are English; quite English, you know.
Just now, Ma'am, our Surplus has reached such a size,
(Not English, you know; not English, you know,)
The difficulty I can no more disguise.
(Plain English, you know; plain English, you know.)
Why, every year,—it reads like a romance—
That Surplus, by millions, fails not to advance.
If at this young lady you'd give just a glance!
(She's English, you know; quite English, you know.)
Chorus.
Her words, Ma'am, may please, if you'll deign but to hear;
They're English, you know; quite English, you know.
If you banish her now, she must soon reappear.
Still English, quite English, you know.
What Columbia has done she of course can undo
(That's English, you know; quite English, you know);
Our old fiscal system has gone all askew.
(Like the English, you know; say some English, you know.)
Protection has got to the street that's called Queer;
Free Trade!—well, her advent may distant appear;
Anyhow, do just glance at this lady, my dear.
She's English, you know; quite English, you know.
Chorus.
Mark the things she will say which 'twere prudent to hear,
They're English, you know; quite English, you know.
Our system's not solid or stable, I fear.
Not English, not English, you know.
Protection and you very long have been friends
(That's Yankee, you know; quite Yankee, you know);
But sure such a Surplus serves no useful ends.
To Yankees, you know, robbed Yankees, you know.
Humph! Yes, English "Chambers of Commerce" do pule
Just now for Protection; they're playing the fool.
But they'll hardly score much off the old Free Trade School.
That's English, you know; quite English, you know.
Chorus.
Heed not all the Vincents and Bartletts you hear,
Though English, you know; mad English, you know.
Economists know they are very small beer,
Though English, half English, you know.
For Salisbury, Gladstone and Bright all agree
(They're English, you know; all English, you know,)
That this new Fair Trade fad is pure fiddle-de-dee.
(Not English, you know; not English, you know.)
The Farmers and Landlords want prices to rise,
So they look on Fair Trade with encouraging eyes;
But they'll hardly get Statesmen to be their allies,
Who're English, you know; true English, you know.
