THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
House of Commons, Monday, June 27.—Back again to the Coercion Bill. Report Stage reached, and strong whips out on both sides in anticipation of Division. Both Front Benches crowded like the rest. Gladstone in his place, as eager to make speech as if it were his first on the subject. Hartington there too, and Chamberlain, making, with Heneage, a brave show on end of Front Bench. Gladstone spoke early. A full House, but everyone bored to death. Later, House thinned to degree that invited a count; but at sound of bell Members held in hand for Division, swooped down, got themselves counted, saved the sitting, and straightway fled again. George Campbell concerned in interests of Protestant Church. A Papal Envoy been received by Queen to present Jubilee congratulations. Was that an exceptional privilege for an Ecclesiastic? Would the Brahmin Head of Benares be allowed to approach Her Majesty in similar way? No answer. Would the Grand Imaum of Mecca? The Under-Secretary of State shivered in his shoes, but still no response. Then Sir George, uplifting his voice to its most melodious heights, produced his poser:—"Would the Moderator of the Free Church of Scotland enjoy such a privilege?" |
Old Morality and his colleagues on the Treasury Bench began to grow uneasy. No saying where Campbell's list might end. Fergusson whispered to and nudged till, propped on his feet, he feebly urged that Moderator of Free Church of Scotland does not come under the category of a Foreign Potentate. A poor quibble this. But Campbell generously disinclined to push his advantage, and Government escaped immediate defeat.
Growing excitement as Division on John Morley's Amendment restricting duration of Act to three years approached. Ritchie has invented new way of taking Division. Members as anxious to try it as nursery of children to handle new toy. At first some little difficulty in understanding it. Members crowded round Ritchie and asked how it was done.
"Nothing easier or clearer," he said. "There are six doors, which we will call A, B, C, D, E, and F. As soon as division bell rings, F is closed. B is left half open. Members voting 'Aye' pass through the A door and meet the 'Noes' coming through D. A and C are then simultaneously shut. If B is open, the 'Ayes' and the 'Noes,' having seen E closed, form in one stream, pass through, and there you are. Don't you see?"
Young 'Olden.
Everybody saw quite clearly. Quite a pleasure to see Isaac Holden (etat. eighty, but full of youthful vigour) starting off to try the new experiment. Got through all right. But, half an hour later, Gilbert Greenall found in recesses of ventilating cellars, where, he said, he was "looking for door E."
Business done.—Report on Coercion Bill.
Tuesday.—Wilfrid Lawson made admirable suggestion to-night. Proposes that, when titles or honours are conferred upon anyone, a statement should accompany announcement, setting forth the public services on account of which the honour has been conferred. It is so done in respect of Victoria Cross. List of Honours conferred in connection with Jubilee show the necessity of extending custom.
"Who's he?" said Sir Borthwick, Bart., looking down the Gazette when it came out. "Never heard of him, nor him either. I seem to be really the only distinguished person in the lot."
"Who's he?"
List notable not only for what it includes but for what it omits. House of Commons united in expectation of one recognition, looked for in vain. If "Barnets" were to be made in Jubilee time, why was Joseph Gillis overlooked? This thought in everyone's mind, as Joey B. turned up to-night telling in a division against the Government. His public appearance now so rare that its recurrence was an event. Since he came into possession of Castle Butlerstown the alteration, long-working, made sudden and complete advance. His moustache, now past the indefinite stage, is an unquestionable reality, and to see Joey B. twirling it à la Randolph, is a delight to the quiet mind. Joseph feels his new responsibilities. When reproached by Tim Healy with his excessive respectability he is not moved.
"It's all very well for you, Tim, to be brow-beating the Speaker, interrupting Hon. Members opposite, moving the adjournment and the like. But it's different for a man who has a Castle, a drawbridge, a moat, and a moustache."
Characteristic infelicity on the part of the Government to have neglected this opportunity of recognising a reformed character. Joey B. is now a credit to the House. It would have been to the credit of the Government had his friends been able to hail him as Sir Joseph Gillis Biggar, Bart., of Butlerstown Castle.
Business done.—Coercion Bill again.
Thursday.—"He! he!" said Old Morality, his white teeth shedding pale light over Treasury Bench. "Capital joke! Hope they'll often repeat it."
Capital it was, and so unexpected, too. Secret admirably kept, and sprung upon amazed House with marvellous effect. After questions, O. M. moved Resolutions providing for discussion on Report Stage of Coercion Bill being peremptorily closed at Seven o'Clock on Monday night.
"The Early Closing Association," said Sir Wilfrid Lawson, looking across at Noble Lords and Right Hon. Gentlemen arrayed on Treasury Bench in support of this Motion.
Parnellites of course hostile to Motion. But more particularly enraged because O. M. in moving it had not spoken single sentence.
"Come, come," said John Dillon, "this is too bad. If we are to lose our liberties, let us, at least, have a speech in support of the proposition."
But O. M. obdurately silent, and debate kept up for three hours from Opposition side. Then Division taken, and Motion carried by majority of a round hundred. After this, Ministers looked forward to another wearisome evening, with Friday to follow, and more talk through Monday up to fatal Seven o'Clock. Here's where the joke came in. The Opposition, returning from Division Lobby after voting on Closure Proposition, continued their march through the House and cleared out by the door. Ministers watched process with amazement, growing into apprehension, and finally broadening into a grin of delight as the joke flashed upon them. Having given Government the trouble of preparing, moving and carrying Resolution, fixing closure of debate on Monday evening, Irish Members not going to debate at all! The Government might take their Report Stage; which they did, and before you could say "W. H. Smith," the Report Stage of the Coercion Bill was agreed to, and House, scarcely recovered from surprise, was engaged upon miscellaneous business of the Orders of the day.
Friday, Midnight.—Since dinner-time there has been exhilarating scene in Palace Yard. Nearly every 'bus that has passed has dropped a Duchess at the gate. Four-wheelers, conveying Countesses, have regularly filed in; whilst, what Sir Robert Peel would call "Noble Baronesses," have arrived on foot. As distinguished Novelist somewhere writes, "Lo! a strange thing has happened." On ordinary days House of Lords, which commences public business at 5·30, adjourns about 5·37. At this hour of midnight House still sitting, and no sign of Adjournment. Irish Land Bill under debate. Subject irresistible to Noble Lords. Have foregone their late afternoon drive in the Park. More than one has patriotically dined on a chop.
A flush of honest pride mantles many a noble countenance. All very well for the Commons to boast of their long sittings; but see what the Peers can do when duty calls! At first a little consternation at the arrivals from without. But even that turns out well. There were stories of anxious wives communicating with House of Commons during All-night Sittings, and finding errant husbands not there. But here are Noble Lords unflinchingly serving their country, remaining at their post, whate'er betide.
A beautiful and a soothing sight, which affects to tears some of the Commons, who sit in the Gallery, and look down upon it.
Business done.—Lords pass Report Stage of Irish Land Bill.