A LITTLE MONEY QUESTION.
"Oh, dear Punch, dear,
"I want to ask you one little question. It is about 'defacing the coin.' I wish to ask whether my brother Septimus is liable to be taken up? The foolish boy has several waistcoats, the buttons of which are made of coins. He has one for every-day use made with fourpenny pieces. He has another, the buttons of which are made with half-sovereigns. That is for Sunday wear, whilst he has another for very grand occasions that is buttoned together with two-sovereign pieces. He is with these absurd fancies quite a 'Man made of Money', and I know a young lady who calls him a 'walking change for a ten-pound note.' It is very conceited of him to be sure, and I am only afraid he will be taken up some day—especially if he has on at the time his great driving coat that has a long row of half-crowns running down in front, and a couple of crown-pieces over the pockets behind. Now I wish you to tell me, dear Punch, supposing he is taken up, can they send him to prison, and cut his hair off, and make him eat gruel for defacing the coin? I am more frightened than I can tell you about him.
"Poor fellow! It would be terrible to see two big policemen lay their large hands on him, when he was out walking with his little sister, and tear him away from my side, because he happened to be wearing his grand pink shirt with the studs made out of the tiniest threepenny pieces. This talk about 'defacing the coin' is all rubbish, for it strikes me that if I give ten shillings for half-a-sovereign, I have a right to do what I like with it—to throw it in the fire even, if I choose; but I am fairly tired out of my life with such stuff!
I remain, my dearest Punch,
Your great friend and admirer,
Clara (at No. 10).
"P.S. Supposing again I choose to wear a lucky coin round my neck that was given to me by Julius before he went to sea, I should like to know what they would do with me? I declare I would die sooner than they should take it from me!"
Publicans and Parsons.—Cathedral Chapters are compiled from leaves taken out of Hotel-keepers' Books.
How to Breathe the "Free Air" of Austria.—Keep your mouth shut!