EL VERDADERO DESCUBRIMIENTO D'IXIMAYA.
POR DON VELASQUEZ CROCKER, UN INGENIO DE ESTA CORTE.
The manuscript of the following "True Discovery of Iximaya," by "a wit of this court" (as the old Spanish dramatists would have said), was brought to Mr. Punch's office, together with three pounds of chocolate and a box of cigars, by an unknown hand. Mr. Punch forgives the mixed jargon of the verses, being moved thereto by the integrity of the chocolate and cigars, which were entirely Spanish; but, as his readers have not tasted of the one, or inhaled the fumes of the other, he has employed three of the best Spanish scholars in the Foreign Office (placed at his disposal by Lord Clarendon) to prepare the annexed translations of his correspondent's most recondite phrases.
Senor Punch, amigo mio; cuyo sobremucho brio
Todo triste enfado rio drives from out the heart of man!
Judith, cuyo cor aïroso ofiende su esposo!
Y Tobias, tan jocoso, de los canes Grande Can!
Hear a singular narration of a long-lost Aztec nation
In a lonely situation dwelling on its ancient plan;
I alone have entered into its forbidden lands by dint o'
All the wit of Mendez Pinto, and the brass of Jonathan.
In the town of Guatemala, sitting in the antesala
(That you know's the tap-room parlour) of a queer old Spanish inn,
While the portly Mesoñero—platicante el dinero
De tan rico forastero through his appetite to win—
Brought from out the meagre larder of his precious poor posada
A sabrosa sazonada, mess of beans, in dripping fried;
I was mindful of a greasy Padre, very fat and wheezy,
Who, with action free and easy, came and sat him by my side;
Saying, "Senor por mi vida, if I share your slight comida,
It is not because I need a meal, but that I wish to show
Mi poquito de respeto por tan principal sujeto."
"Tan afable y discreto Padre I am glad to know:
You are welcome, father," said I; "my repast, you see is ready,
So, if you will bless the bread, I gladly will the half resign."
Thus we sat, some white wine sipping, and the pan bendito dipping
in the unctuous beans and dripping, till I said, "O! Padre mine,
Prithee tell me sin engaños why your old ciudadanos
Twixt two large and fierce volcanoes chose to build this lordly town?[2]
Uno d'agua rebienta; un con llamas atormenta
El Pueblo; both have sent a raging torrent rolling down."
"Ah! amigo muy amado!" said the Padre; "Alvarado
Este lugar mas dichado chose betwixt each fatal spout,
Thinking that whene'er they brought or floods of fire or streams of water
On the town from either quarter, one would put the other out."
Then I said, "I've heard men say a town entitled Iximaya,
Never seen by white man, lay a few leagues off behind the hills.
Is it true, Sir?" Said the Padre, "Por los ojos de mi madre,
Vino con los contos cuadre! Talking, dry-lipped, nothing skills.
Bring us, quick, some Ratafia and cigars, Dolores mia;
Manana sera otro dia; all to-night we'll merry be.
Yo estaba un chiquito (here he took a cigarrito)
Algo de lo pastorcito, when its walls I chanced to see:
'Twas from yonder high Sierra's cloud-encircled summit; where a
Vagabunda negra perra, which I loved, had gone astray,
Sus esplandientes tejas, blancas como mis ovejas,
I could see and count the rejas, tho' 'twas twenty leagues away."
Struck by what the priest related, for a while I meditated
How to find if what he stated were the very truth, or no.
Then I said, "You live so near it, that methinks 'tis somewhat queer it
Is not better known down here." "It, Senor," said he, "is not so!
Por, sus gallos y gallinas, envueltos en basquinas
Viven en profundas minas, lest they should be heard to crow."
Slily to Dolores winking, straight I left the Padre drinking,
And departed quickly, thinking, "I will make a journey there."
Soon I paid the Mesoñero; sought me out an Arrièro,
Asked the road, and hired a pair o' steady mules and paid the fare.
Dificil y peregrino se mostraba el camino;
Nunca Mulatèro vino on that lonely road before;
Por las selvas mas obscuras, y profundas espesuras,
Where the jaguar would be sure, as we appeared, to give a roar,
Por los montes y fuentes, y arroyas sin puentes,
Where the alligator spent his leisure hours, on we bore;
Till the Mulatèro dying, I was forced to leave him, lying
On the mountain after trying circulation to restore.
Then for want of preparation for my novel situation
I was threatened with starvation; ate the very clothes I wore;
Comi yo de las albardas por el tanto Sol asadas;
Cenè de las almohadas sodden in the streams I past;
Till one day, desaliñado, flaco, manco, fatigado,
I attained (A! desdichado!) Iximaya's walls at last.
Ricos hombres, bellas damas, que con frescas verdes ramas
Gobernaron blancas llamas, came to meet me at the gate,
En su lengua me hablaron, y mi garbo alabaron,
(Though I must have looked a rare one) led me in, in wondrous state:
Took me to the Casa Real, where the King and Queen at tea, all
Joyful any white to see, allowed me there to stop and sup.
Quando dormir partiamos, El Rey dijo, "Te amàmos
Antesque al lecho vamos, let us take a parting cup!"
Early the ensuing morning, I my person was adorning,
When without the slightest warning, some one came into my room.
Su semblante presumido, y su limpio vestido
Con toallas guarnecido, made me for a while presume
'Twas the barber come to shave me, curl, shampoo, perfume, and lave me;
But an awful turn it gave me, when I saw he had a knife.
Thought I, "If it's not the barber, peor esta que estaba,
Some designs they sure must harbour 'gainst my sad unhappy life,"
Hombres de colossal talle metièron me en calle,
Saying to each other, "Shall he cheat the sun and stars and moon?
No! but at the rich and costly shrine of Huetzilopoztli
(That's the god they worship mostly) he shall be a victim soon."
Y llevaron me eutonces to the temple, for the dunces
Didn't know that more than once his life the stranger tried to beg.
But a condor o'er me flying, just as I was sadly lying
On the sacrificial stone and crying, let me catch him by the leg.
One priest held me by the paletôt, but the condor soared in alto
Aire with me till, por falto de fuerzas, down he fell,
And I woke in the posada, where my reverend camarada
At the self-same almohada I was holding tugged as well.
So if you should hear one day a little more of Iximaya,
In the speaker's ear just say a single verse of Calderon,
"In this world, so full of seeming, all the sons of men live dreaming;
That their dreams are true still deeming. 'Y sueños sueños son.'"
"Senor Punch, &c." My good friend Punch, whose superabundant pluck expels every sad annoyance, &c., &c. Judy, whose valorous heart disturbs her spouse, and thou, O, jocose Toby! of all other dogs, the grand dog (for the so-called Italian prince was but a type of thee).
"Mesoñero, &c." The innkeeper considering how to win the silver of so rich a stranger.
"Posada." An inn where you should, but cannot repose. Lucus & non lucendo.
"Comida." Dinner, otherwise a periphrasis for beans and dripping.
"Mi poquito, &c." My little modicum of respect for so principal a person.
"Uno d'agua, &c." One bursts with water, the other torments the town with flames.
"O, wondrous policy! From North to South,
Austria and France shoot in each other's mouth.
"Este lugar." This delightful residence.
"Por los ojos, &c." By the eyes of my mother wine and talking go together.
"Manana." To-morrow will be another sort of day.
"Yo estaba, &c." I was a younker doing a little bit of the shepherd.
"Vagabunda, &c." A vagabond black female dog. "Sus, &c." Its shining roofs, white as my sheep. "Rejas." Windows.
"Por los gallos, &e." For the cocks and hens, with their heads wrapped in cloaks, live in cellars.
"Dificil, &c." The road proved strange and difficult. No muleteer had travelled it before.
"Arroyas sin puentes, &c." Rivers without bridges.
"Comi, &c." I dined on the saddles cooked by the heat of the sun. I supped upon their cushions, sodden, &c.
"Ricos hombres, &c." Noblemen and beautiful ladies, who guided milk-white llamas with fresh green boughs.
"Quando, &c." When we were going to bed the King said, "We love thee," and then followed in the language of the nursery rhyme, "Let's take a cup," said Greedy. "We'll sup before we go."
"Su semblante, &c." His conceited look and white dress garnished with towels.
"Peor esta, &c." I am out of the frying-pan into the fire.
"Hombres, &c." Men of colossal figure put me into the street.
"Y llevaron, &c." And carried me off at once.
"Por falto, &c." For want of strength.
"Y sueños, &c." Dreams are only dreams.
[2] The town stands between two volcanos: one of fire, the other of water.