Rather too Nice.
A strict business man of our acquaintance is so extremely particular in all his transactions, that since the new Act came in force, he never has been known to pay a compliment, without insisting upon taking a stamped receipt.
THE GOD HYMEN TO THE DEMI-GOD PUNCH.
"Saffron Hill, Olympus. Prid. Id. Oct.
WELL beloved, joyful am I to see you Britons—penitus toto divisos orbe Britannos, as a friend near me says—returning or relapsing into Paganism. So my altar, 'the altar of Hymen,' is at last erected in your places of worship, is it? I had doubted whether the news could be true; but I now read the statement so repeatedly in the Morning Herald, who asserts herself to be the only exponent of religion (and Irish grammar), that I doubt no longer The 'Hymeneal ceremony' is constantly performed by your priests—so I read. Olympus rejoices—we all rejoice. My father, Apollo, has composed a capital song in honour of your conversion; and my respected mother, Urania, is making a new star, which will be hung out in a few nights in commemoration of the same. But, Well-beloved, there is a good saying by Periander of Corinth, 'Prius intellige, et deinde ad opus accede.' The 'Hymeneal Ceremonies' ought to be performed accurately and properly, if at all, or Juno (between ourselves, a stuck-up party) will show little favour to the nuptials. Instruct your priests and officials, Well-beloved, and let us gods shortly read in the Morning Herald, that you are not content with foolishly applying Pagan phrases to Christian facts, but that you are consistent. Something like the following, eh?
"S. dicit,
"Yours very faithfully, Hymen."