THE DECIMAL COINAGE.
The Chairman of the Committee to the Vulgar (fractional) Public.
Air—"Won't you Come and take Tea in the Arbour?"
The Coinage Committee, which sat in the City,
At last have completed their labour,
And derive from the action intense satisfaction;
We're sick of "Colenso" and "Mavor!"
But as it may be thought that we mean our "report"
For the special behoof of "the City,"
Half a page of the Times we'll condense into rhymes
To the air of a popular ditty.
So, though it's uphilly, give up all your silly
Ideas, which might suit your grandfather
About shillings and pence, which are not common sense,
And take to the decimals rather!
As in loyalty bound, we shall stick to the pound—
'Twould be treason the "sovereign" to banish;
But all the half-crowns, "bobs", "joeys", and "browns,"
Into Royal Mint-sauce must vanish.
But we'll leave you the Florin, which cannot be foreign,
As every one lots of them handles,
And of these 'twill be found, ten will go to the pound,
For all the world like—kitchen candles!
Then, though it's uphilly, &c.
Still on decimals bent, we descend to the Cent
(Find its value yourself, if you're able),
Divide by ten still, and you'll come to the Mil
There, my friends, you've the whole of the table.
So we hope by next session, you'll be in possession
Of some sensible decimal money;
And pay all little bills in cents, florins, and mils,
Never mind if, at first, it seem funny.
But, though it's uphilly, &c.
Those who talk about "browns," and say "bulls"—meaning crowns,
Perchance for "nicknames" may be roarin';
Recollect in a "mill" you've of pounding your fill,
And frequently plenty of floorin'.
Now, Public! tho' slow—that you're grateful to show
(If you are not a stingy, mean sinner),
The least you can do, is to just buckle to,
And give the Committee—a dinner!
Then, though it's uphilly, &c.