THE DWARF DEJECTED.

A pathetic recital for the benefit of you, or me, or any other snail who
may want a tortoise-shell. In what year, or under what king Bezoman, lived he, no matter. Suffice it
to know he still survives. Once he was happy! Once, whene'er the eventide flooded the earth with effulgent glory, and
each little star began to wonder who I was, to the loftiest turret of his
quite commodious castle this dwarf would climb, and muse upon sciology and
the cosmic forces.
"Oh! Life is joy—is peace to me!" would he cry, ever and anon. And ever an anonymous owl would scream, "To whoo? To whoo?" Upon one eventful eve he sat upon his turret. Gazing around, he sprang upon his feet. "What, ho!" he cried, as a glimmer of light shot across the surface of the lake, "What, ho! A light in the ship-house! Tis the red light of danger! I forbode." Glancing around and beneath him, he perceived that the stucco was peeling from his favorite turret. "Here is danger, indeed!" he said; and loudly shouted for his ah! too dilatory servant to bring the ladder by which he ascended and descended his lofty pinnacle. At last the servant came, and he was a new and somewhat weighty waiter youth. "Ah! big lad—!" then said the dwarf. "I am glad, good sir," replied the boy. "I would have the big ladder!" cried his master. "I can't be gladder," said the boy. The dwarf looked pityingly down upon the youth for several moments. "Are you a natural-born fool?" said he.
The boy advanced to the edge of the roof, made a bow, placed one arm at
right angles before him, while the other hung by his side, and thus he sang
his song:
"I've never been to public school,
My vaccination did not take.
Perhaps I will grow up a fool;
But that my heart will never break. I would not win in learning's race,
Nor e'er be rich and lose my looks;
I think that a small-pocked face
Is worse than e'en small pocket-books.
Then, didy fol, la, la, la, la!—"
"Stop!" cried the now enraged dwarf. "Begone! ere I, base boy! shall heave
the turret down." "Certainly," replied the youth. "Big, ornary, base boy shall leave thee to
rot down. Oh! yes; of course, of course!" And away he went. The Court fool came at last and let his master down. "Oh! ho!" said he of the motley, as the dwarf came slowly down the ladder.
"Thou art now the first descendant of thy house." The dwarf laughed, and fell the rest of the way. "No matter!" he cried,
rubbing his shins. "My house shall follow me. It shall come down too. I am
going to have it all built up anew." "Bravo!" said the clown. "I thought you were too happy." On the next day the door-bell of the castle rang, and soon a varlet came to
fast inform my lord the dwarf that in the parlor waited now a giant, and on
the card he gave his name was written, "S.T. Mate." The dwarf unto his
parlor quick repaired, and there, upon some dozen chairs the giant sat,
smiling benign. "Hail to thee! good Sir Dwarf," spake the mammoth, and rising and folding
his arms across his breast, he sang, in royal bass, his song:
"I hear that thou, O neighbor brave!
Thy edifice anew would build.
I come to much vain labor save.
If thou to hear me now art willed." "Proceed," said the dwarf, seating himself upon a piano-stool, and screwing himself up until he was near the ceiling and on a level with the singer's head. The giant proceeded: "If thou shouldst build thy house thyself,
The cost thou surely ne'er would know;
But if I take the job, my friend.
You'll see where every cent will go." "I like that," said the dwarf. "Pray sing some more." "I'll tell you just what it will cost;
And all that you will have to do
Will be to travel for a time,
Whilst I your castle build anew." "That's capital!" cried the delighted dwarf. "It would suit me exactly. Warble me yet other wood notes wild." The giant sang on: "A castle such as you will want
Will cost you eighty pounds—or so.
I'll charge you nothing for my time;
You'll see where every cent will go."
The dwarf revolved himself rapidly, and quickly reached the floor. "The concert's over!" he cried, "and here's a check for eighty pounds.
Proceed! Tear down; construct! I leave tonight for foreign parts. Write me
when all is done. Adieu." The interview terminated. The clown, who had overheard this fair discourse, now left the castle; and
retiring to a secluded spot, where—a willow drooped sadly o'er the brook,
he laid him down and died. The dwarf to foreign parts now hied, and when twelve months had passed, and
he had had no news of his grand castle, he returned home. He found the castle finished—all but the roof and walls. The deep cellars,
with their marble copings just peeping 'neath the heavy mass of weeds that
clustered to their very edge, were dark and solemn. The sly fox slunk along
their passages, and grim serpents reared their heads from many a gloomy
corner. The dwarf, he gazed in silence! By heavy sighs his breast was heaven, and black thoughts made his soul like
Hades! Anon he mounted in hot haste, and rode unto the giant's castle on the
distant hills. By sundown, the dwarf he saw on the horizon a great blue
mass, the sight of which did move his inmost being. "It is his castle!" quoth he, and he gave his steed free rein. The interview was terrible! All the domestics fled and hid themselves in distant dells. At last the dwarf, exhausted by vituperation, sank upon the flagstones of
the court-yard. Then folded the giant his arms and sang his song:
"Oh! hear me now, misguided dwarf,
Eight thousand pound more I must ask.
Materials, and labor too,
All rose since I began my task. Among the things we can't divine.
Are values of such terms as 'so;'
But I've all items entered straight,
Where all the money goes you'll know."
The dwarf gave one quick savage glance at the pocket of the giant, S.T.
MATE, and then, without a word, he proudly crossed the drawbridge. But he had not long left the castle at his back ere dejection crept upon
him and never left him more. The dwarf he did his cellar reach, fainting, almost bereft of speech; and
as his men he staggered by, with panting breast and haggard eye, "Minstrel!" he cried, "O laggard! I for deepest depths of Lethe long. Get
thy guitar and sing a song!"
The minstrel sang: "O Estimate!
Thy name is great,
MEDUSA's head thou sure must own.
Do as we will,
Thy coming still
Turns all our hard-earned cash to stone."
The dwarf, now sunk in Lethe's mud, did snore; knowing the sign, the
minstrel then forbore.