LIMERICKS
TEXT AND PICTURES BY OLIVER HERFORD
THE SOMNOLENT BIVALVE
SAID the oyster: “To-morrow’s May-day;
But don’t call me early, I pray.
Just tuck me instead
In my snug oyster-bed,
And there till September I’ll stay.”
THE OUNCE OF DETENTION
ONCE a pound-keeper chanced to impound
An ounce that was straying around.
The pound-keeper straight
Was fined for false weight,
Since he’d only once ounce in his pound.
THE DE VINNE PRESS, NEW YORK
FOOTNOTES:
[1] At a meeting held at Chickering Hall on the evening of November 12, 1891, to sympathize with Governor Nichols’s war on the Louisiana lottery system, the late Abram S. Hewitt was one of the speakers. In the course of his remarks in denunciation of the lottery gambling in Louisiana, Mr. Hewitt said:
“I can’t find words strong enough to express my feelings regarding this brazen fraud.
“This scheme of plunder develops a weak spot in the government of the United States, which I would not mention were it not for the importance of the issue. We all know that a single State frequently determines the result of a presidential election. The State of Louisiana has determined the result of a presidential election. The vote of that State was offered to me for money, and I declined to buy it. But the vote of that State was sold for money!”
[2] Read before the joint meeting of The American Academy of Arts and Letters and the National Institute of Arts and Letters, December 13, 1912. Now first published.
[3] I doubt if “Winchester,” previously known as “Rienzi,” could have outwalked Sherman’s “Sam,” a terror to staff-officers, General Meade’s “Baldy,” or McClellan’s “Black Dan,” for it was asserted they could all walk five miles an hour.
[4] THE CENTURY for July, 1882.
[5] THE CENTURY for July, 1887.
[6] Federal Reporter, Vol. 110, page 660.
[7] Since this was written a device accomplishing the same purpose has been placed in public service.
[8] Reprinted from “Scribner’s Monthly” (now THE CENTURY) for March, 1874.