HOW TO COMPOSE A SHORT STORY
| "Ambitious" asks the compiler of this Almanack to tell her the easiest way to compose a short story. This depends somewhat on the short story, but a few general observations may be of interest. Some short stories are more excited than others. Lead the short story to a quiet place and soothe it by praise delivered in a gentle, monotonous, but authoritative tone of voice. Be careful not to criticize, as that will make it more and more nervous. When the short story shows signs of yielding to this influence, smooth it gently with one hand and pat it on the back with the other. When quite composed, withdraw quietly, still speaking in a low tone. A short story by Mary Wilkins can be composed more quickly than a short story by Kipling. In the latter case it may be necessary to gently persuade the short story to take an opiate. | Health Hint: All that blisters is not good for a cold. Lucky Advice: It is unlucky to fall down 13 flights of stairs. |
| SUNDAY | (1906) A bright day. W. J. Bryan congratulates the Sun. |
| MONDAY | |
| TUESDAY | "It isn't so much her eating the apple as that
she thought she was getting something for
nothing. I foresee much trouble from this tendency." —Adam's Journal. |
| WEDNESDAY | |
| THURSDAY | |
| FRIDAY | (2300 B.C.) Confusion invented by Confucius. |
| SATURDAY | |
| FEBRUARY | |
| A woman's college is a dangerous thing. |