HOW TO PLANT A BEER GARDEN

Now is the time for the ruddy faced beer gardener to lay out his beer garden. First procure a license and a few nice rustic chairs and tables. Next extract the seeds from a couple of seedy old suits and get your wife to sew them. Your barber will gladly supply you with cuttings, or, if you have the chance, unscrew a dozen or so bulbs from some healthy young electric light plant. With ordinary summer weather you should soon have a blooming fine lot of Anheuser bushes. As soon as the "buds" begin to pop, pack the roots with ice. Care should be taken to keep the plants from drying out. Bottle flies, while annoying, do no real injury to the plant, and a judicious use of fly-paper will hold them in check. In weeding, the beer gardener should be careful to distinguish between true widow's weeds and grass widow's weeds. The latter not only add color and beauty to the garden, but also give life to the plant. Beer was never worn so much or used so extensively for interior decoration as it is today. There is a ready market for it at five cents a small bunch, and with intelligent grafting the bearing of the plant can be increased tenfold. THERMOMETER ECONOMY:
This is the best time to buy thermometers. They cost no more than during the winter months and contain more than twice as much mercury.

SUNDAY
MONDAY(858 B.C.) Sardanapulus dies on a bier 400 feet high. Great envy among the thirsty.
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY
THURSDAYJuly 4th is a great day for those who love to tell us that "all men are created free and equal;" it is also a great day for other Fourth of Juliars.
FRIDAY
SATURDAY(1839) John D. Rockefeller born. "First in the wells, first in the pipes, first in the lamps of his countrymen."
JULY
Never look a gift mule in the hind leg.