An Effective Mule Invigorator.
While traveling in Virginia some time ago with a doctor we came upon an old colored man who was standing by a mule hitched to an old two-wheel vehicle. "Dis mule am balked, boss," said the old man; "an' I'll jis gib a dollah to de man what can start 'im."
"I will do it for less than that, uncle," said the doctor. He took his case from the carriage and selected a small syringe, which he filled with morphin. He went to the side of the mule and quickly inserting the syringe in his side pushed the contents into the animal. The mule reared upon his hind legs and giving an astonishing bray started down the road at a break neck speed. The aged colored man gave a look of astonishment at the doctor, and with a loud "Whoa!" started down the road after the mule. In the course of ten minutes we came up to the old man standing in the road waiting for us. The mule was nowhere in sight.
"Say, boss," said the darky, "how much you charge for dat stuff you put in dat mule?"
"Oh, ten cents will do," laughingly replied the doctor.
"Well, boss, heah is twenty cents. Squirt some of dat stuff in me. I must ketch dat ar mule."
—Philadelphia Press.
The racy flavor of much of the recent news from the New England States shows that the cider of the vintage of 1889, which lurks in the gallon jug behind the door, is beginning to get a head on it.
—Chicago News.
That man's policy was wiser who catching his son taking a whiff or two from a cigar, merely insisted on his finishing it, standing by him until he had done so. The succeeding two hours were never forgotten.
—Tobacco Leaf.
That the moral nature of the pig is essentially mean and selfish is proven by the fact that he is always willing and ready to "squeal" when he gets into a tight place.
—Baltimore American.
—Chicago Liar.
The New York Prohibitionists have formally condemned recklessness in the conduct of the Pension Bureau. It is a good place to introduce a little temperance.
—Boston Herald.