§ 196
It is admitted by all students of married life that not less passion but more is needed, and the precipitant husband undoubtedly needs more. For him the love episode’s passion is concentrated into the climax of it. It has no beginning, no middle, and no end, for it rarely if ever gives the full satisfaction that is gained by the husband who really takes care of his wife’s erotic responses. For the ignorant husband, who is emotionally about five years old, the love episode is featureless and crude like a five-year-old child’s drawing of a man on a slate. It has no proportions, a head, rectangular body and two straight lines for legs and quadrangular sinkers for feet and asterisk hands.
The passionless love episode is no love episode at all as it lacks the essential of deep love. Putting more passion into his love for his wife is of course exactly what the man, whose woman’s world consists of only two widely sundered castes, is unable to do unless he succeeds in overcoming the early-fixed habit of his thought about what he knows as love. But putting more passion into his love for his wife is exactly what he must do to be fully a man and to control her erotic emotions.
One who is fully a woman latently, as are all with negligible exceptions, is never fully developed into a woman, actually, except by the man who can play on her, as on a violin, all the melodies of which she is capable. She will never know herself unless she is thus developed by man. She will be like an undeveloped photographic plate.