CONTENTS

Page
Two Letters and a Dedication[5]
Introduction[17]
Breaking Into the Writing Game[27]
Settling the Corset Problem of This Country[39]
How to Tell a Butler, And Other Etiquette[47]
Defending My Soup Plate Position[57]
Helping the Girls With Their Income Taxes[69]
The Greatest Document in American Literature[77]
Prospectus for “The Remodeled Chewing Gum Corporation”[87]
Inside Stuff on the Total Eclipse[99]
It’s Time Somebody Said a Word for California[111]
Promoting the Oceanless One-Piece Suit[121]
Warning to Jokers: Lay Off the Prince[131]
Spring Is Here, With Poems and Bath Tubs[141]
My Ford and Other Political Self-Starters[151]
Wilson Could Laugh at a Joke on Himself[159]
A Job With the James Family[171]
Let’s Treat Our Presidents Like Human Beings[181]
What With Fruit Juice and Consomme, It Was a Wild Party[193]
What We Need Is More Fred Stones[203]
One Oil Lawyer Per Barrel[217]
Another Confession in the Oil Scandal[227]
The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth[237]
Well, Who Is Prunes?[249]
Politics Getting Ready to Jell[261]
Two Long-Lost Friends Found at Last[269]
They Nominated Everybody But The Four Horsemen[279]
In the Midst of a 7-Year Hitch[287]
“Will Rogers, Jr.” Reports the Convention For His Father, Worn Out By Long Service[297]
Roping a Critic[305]
“The World Tomorrow,” After the Manner of Great Journalists[A][313]
Settling the Affairs of the World in My Own Way[323]
A Skinny Dakota Kid Who Made Good[333]
Taking the Cure, By the Shores of Cat Creek[345]