THEY NOMINATED EVERYBODY BUT THE FOUR HORSEMEN
As I pen you these few lines, the Democratic National Convention is still going on; going on to where, nobody knows. But it has to end some time for even a Delegate can only stand just so much Oratory.
All the first week was taken up with seconding the nomination of McAdoo and Al Smith.
It looked like they were going to run out of people to do it, and they would have to second each other.
I wish you could have been there and heard what great men we have in this Country. We started out with 16 men for President. Here is what each one of them was.—“The only Man who can carry the Democratic Party to a Glorious Victory in November. Whose every act has been an inspiration to his fellow men. Not only loved in his Home State but in every State.” Well, there was six continuous days of that.
Then the Ku Klux Klan argument come along, and really it was welcome even in New York. Just to get people’s mind off that continuous, “The Man I am about to name to you.”
One day and up to two thirty in the Night they fought and argued the Klan. It was the most exciting and Dramatic night I ever saw in my life.
After 11 hundred Delegates voted and recounted and voted the thing stood only about one vote apart, in fact a fraction of a vote, due to North Carolina, instead of having an election and naming 24 Delegates, just letting the whole State come as Delegates and giving each one the usual Volstead Ratio, Half of one percent of a Vote.
Alaska voted one Klu Klux away up there. Can you imagine a man in all that Snow and Cold with nothing on but a thin white Sheet and Pillow Slip?
My old Friend W. J. Bryan made one of his characteristic speeches. He said that if they split the Democratic Party with this Klan issue that another great Party would arise to take its place. Some guy up in the Gallery started Booing him. He just stopped and waited a minute until the heckler quit, then he said: “But no great leader of any Party has ever come from the Gallery.” After that they laid off him.
Ex-Secretary of War Baker made a Speech on the League of Nations and spoke of the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse, meaning I suppose, Borah, La Follette, Johnson and Brookhart.
I arrived late one morning, well only about 15 minutes late, and they had nominated five men for president already. I asked a Man in the Press stand who they were and he said, “You wasn’t here and you know them as well as I do.”
I had a friend who wanted to be nominated but all the nominating speakers were so given out that he had to let it go until next Election, that is in case they ever have another one.
If the one who is nominated can only swing the votes of the ones who were defeated he will give Mr. Coolidge a tight race.
Talk about Presidential Timber. Why, man, they had whole Lumber yards of it here.
There was so many being Nominated that some of the Men making the nominating Speeches had never even met the man they were nominating.
I know they had not from the way they talked about them.
Every time the speaker nominated somebody, why the Band would strike up what they thought was an appropriate tune. The bird nominated Gov. Brown of New Hampshire kept talking and referring to “The Old Granite State. That Glorious old Granite State.” When he finished the Band played “Rock of Ages”. There was granite for you.
They nominated from a list of all Democrats. They drew them out the night before the convention.
Some Man named Stuart from Illinois got up to nominate somebody, and we knew we would hear something about Lincoln being born in Illinois, and sure enough we did. He kept quoting Lincoln’s famous remark about, “God must have loved the common people because he made so many of them.” Well this Bird kept talking about his man being for the common people, and he flopped terribly. You are not going to get people’s votes nowadays by calling them common. Lincoln might have said it but I bet you it was not until after he was elected.
The fellow that nominated Charley Bryan from Nebraska was the only truthful one. He said, “I am going to nominate a Politician,” You know nobody at these things dare mention Politician. Matchless leader or successor to Jefferson are about as low as they ever mention. This fellow told how Bryan had lowered the price of Gasoline in Nebraska. And a crowd of people was seen to leave the hall. I think it was John D. Rockefeller and his Bible Class.
In the Charley Bryan demonstration staged by Nebraska, Florida joined in out of brotherly love.
When Bryan was presented the Band played “Way down Yonder in the Corn Field.”
When Jimmy Cox was Nominated the band played, “Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot.” Jimmy Cox is a mighty fine man, But I don’t know of any quicker way in the World to be forgotten in this Country than to be defeated for President. A Man can leave the Country and people will always remember that he went some place. But if he is defeated for President they can’t remember that he ever did anything.
Smith’s Demonstration lasted one hour and a Half. McAdoo’s almost as long. But most of them just managed to last through a verse and one chorus by the Band.
Matthews of New Jersey nominated Gov. Silzer also of New Jersey. He made a plea for him on the ground that he came from the same state that President Wilson did. That don’t mean anything. Look I come from the same state that Harry Sinclair did. Yet I couldn’t find an Oil Well without a search warrant.
His principal plea for Silzer was on the Highways of New Jersey. So if people west of the Mississippi and down south want a President who will keep the Roads of New Jersey up in good shape you can’t do better than have him.
A guy from Utah talked so long and loud that all of us couldn’t see how it could be anybody in the world he was nominating but Brigham Young that Matchless Father. But at the finish he crossed by saying he was seconding McAdoo’s nomination.
You could never tell until one got through who he was going to name. They would pull the name last. That would be the only surprise they had.
Quinn of Minnesota throwed the biggest scare into the Convention. He praised his man so high that everybody in the hall knew it couldn’t be anybody but La Follette but he fooled us all by seconding Smith. In his talk he never spoke of anything east of St. Paul and in Smith’s travels he has never been west of Syracuse. So you see for yourself how hard it was to follow who they were going to name.