PORSONIAN LEVITIES.
ÆNIGMA.
Ex eo genere quod ex duabus vocibus monosyllabis unam vocem disyllabon efficit.
Primum, secundum, tertium, sive totum, sive integrum.
Te primum incauto nimium, propiusque tuenti
Laura, mihi furtim surrippuisse queror,
Nec tamen hoc furtum tibi condonare recusem
Si pretium simili solvere merce velis
Sed quo plus candoris habent tibi colla secundo
Hoc tibi plus primum frigoris intus habet,
Jamque sinistra cava cantavit ab ilice totum
Omina, et audaces spes vetat esse ratas.
On the Publications of Mrs. Thrale (Piozzi), Mr. Boswell, and Sir John Hawkins, on the Subject of Dr. Johnson.
Lexiphanem fatis functum, qua fœmina, qua vir
Certain indignis dedecorare modis,
Hic quantum in Scotos fuerit testatus amorem
Enarrat, fatuos vendidit illa sales.
Fabellas Eques ede tuas, seu Musice mavis,
Si famæ Herois vis superesse nihil.
At Johnson’s death both sexes join,
His character to undermine,
Proclaim his courtesy to Scots,
And print his stupid anecdotes,
’Tis now thy turn musician knight,
Publish and damn his fame outright.
Porson one day visiting his brother-in-law Mr. P⸺, who at that time lived in Lancaster-court, in the Strand, found him indisposed, and under the influence of medicine. On returning to the house of a common friend, he of course expected to be asked after the health of his relation. After waiting with philosophic patience, without the expected questions being proposed, he reproached the company for not giving him an opportunity of giving the following answer, which he had composed on his walk.
My Lord of Lancaster, when late I came from it,
Was taking a medicine of names not a few,
In Greek an emetic, in Latin a vomit,
In English a puke, and in vulgar a ⸺.
The following humourous verses were undoubtedly composed by Porson, but they are not copied from his own hand-writing, which most of the things here inserted are. He, however, repeated them to the person from whose manuscript they are now printed.
ON THE POPULAR PLAY OF PIZARRO.
As I walked through the Strand so careless and gay,
I met a young girl who was wheeling a barrow,
Choice fruit, Sir, said she, and a bill of the play,
So my apples I bought, and set off for Pizarro.
When I got to the door, I was squeezed, and cried dear me,
I wonder they made the entrance so narrow,
At last I got in, and found every one near me
Was busily talking of Mr. Pizarro.
Lo! the hero appears, what a strut and a stride,
He might easily pass for a Marshal to-morrow,
And Elvira so tall, neither virgin nor bride,
The loving companion of gallant Pizarro.
But Elvira, alas! turned so dull and so prosy,
That I longed for a hornpipe by little Del Caro;
Had I been ’mong the Gods I had surely cried Nosy,
Come play up a jig, and a fig for Pizarro.
On his wife and his child his affection to pay,
Alonzo stood gazing, and straight as an arrow;
Of him I have only this little to say,
His boots were much neater than those of Pizarro.
Then the priestess and virgins, in robes white and flowing,
Walked solemnly on like a sow and her farrow,
And politely informed the whole house they were going
To entreat heaven’s curses on noble Pizarro.
Rolla made a fine speech with such logic and grammar,
As must sure raise the envy of Counsellor Garrow;
It would sell for five pounds were it brought to the hammer,
For it raised all Peru against valiant Pizarro.
Four acts are tol lol, but the fifth’s my delight,
Where history’s traced with the pen of a Varro,
And Elvira in black, and Alonzo in white,
Put an end to the piece by killing Pizarro.
I have finished my song if it had but a tune,
Nancy Dawson won’t do, nor the sweet banks of Yarrow,
I vow I would sing it from morning till noon,
So much am I charmed with the play of Pizarro.
Porson’s fondness for Algebra was universally known, but perhaps a more singular proof of this can hardly be adduced than is exhibited in the following equation, composed by him in Greek. The original is comprized in one line.
Τις ὁ αριθμος ον τεμνομενον εις δυο ανισεις μερεις η του μειζονος μεριδος δυναμις μετα του ελαττονος μεταλαμβανομενη ισος εσσεται του ελαττονος δυναμει μετα του μειζονος μεταλαμβανομενῃ.
Required the number, which being divided into two unequal parts, the square of the greater added to the less shall be equal to the square of the less added to the greater. Let the numbers be x and y.
x² × y = y² × x
x² - y² = x - y
x + y = 1.