A FEW FACTS.
It is a fact that Mr. Graball has resigned his very lucrative situation, and that he thus relinquishes a thousand a year—but he has received another appointment with a salary of fifteen hundred.
It is a fact that Mr. Skinflint put half-a-crown into the plate at the last charity sermon—but it was a bad one.
It is a fact that the once dissipated and extravagant Mr. Meltall remained at home every evening last week—but he had no money to go out with.
It is a fact that the improvident and faithless Mr. Squander took up a bill for ten pounds—but he gave one for twenty on the previous day, in order to accomplish the object.
It is a fact that the master of one of the Union Workhouses shed a tear—but he was standing near the cook who was scraping horse-radish.
It is a fact that Mr. Overhead can place his hand upon his heart, and declare he does not owe a shilling in the world—but he has just taken the benefit of the Insolvent Act.
It is a fact that Lord Stingy patronised the performances at Covent Garden Theatre twice last season—but he went with an order on each occasion.
It is a fact that the benevolent Mr. Bountiful gave his watch and purse to a miserable object on Hounslow Heath—but he perceived a stout bludgeon peeping from beneath the rags of the mendicant.
It is a fact that the coffer-dam of the Hungerford Suspension Bridge was drained completely dry—but it was full of water a week afterwards.
It is a fact that Oxford Street is at last paved with wood—but the alteration has caused much annoyance to the heads of the parish.
It is a fact that the Society for the protection of life against fire were on the spot with their apparatus—but it was two days after the conflagration had happened.
It is a fact that Mr. Feeling expresses great sympathy for the poor—but he was never known to feel in his pocket for their relief.
It is a fact that some of the low-priced bakers give full weight—but they are very liberal of alum.