THE JOINT STOCK SUICIDE CLUB.
Put no
faith in
false
Predictions,
☍ ♒ ♀ ♂
Patient
bear the
worst
Inflictions.
Fog or
Sunshine,
time will
tell;
Gentle Reader,
Fare thee well.
Brothers! support me in my desperate duty!
I first propose to all a cup of Rue-tea,
While I recite once more the various ways
Our club allows to terminate our days.
————————————
We recommend strongly steamboat trips
To those who are tired of their wives;
For it's better to scald to death at once
Than pass in hot water your lives.
The club prescribe a railroad ride,
To such as are bent on marriages;
If they're looking for sweet, 'tis like they'll meet
A Jam between two carriages.
Or take your place when the coaches race,
And an opposition rages,
It's a pleasanter trick to be popp'd off quick,
Than be kill'd by lingering stages.
But we wish all poets to try their pens
On a work of fun and fancy;
They'll hang on a hook, ere they finish their book,
In a fit of neck-romancy.
Now a dismal band, let us seek the Strand,
From Waterloo to jump,
And we'll leap from the piers, 'mid the barges' tiers,
To show that our club's a trump.
23. First balloon ass-sent, 1782.
I wonder which will be the last—don't you?
29. Insurrection of the Poles, 1830.
Paupers proclaim, so dignified their stations,
The shears a trespass on the rights of nations.
A Collection of National Hairs, with variations.
