JUNE.
The international copyright treaty with France having come into action, several dramatic authors will be thrown out of employment.
The umbrella manufacturers of the metropolis will felicitate themselves on the prospect of a brisk demand for their merchandise.
The omnibus drivers, blasés to the excitement of unchecked racing on level ground, will avail themselves of the repairs in Fleet Street for the purpose of a steeple chase.
He is also nervous about the sea voyage. There can be no harm in a trip as far as the Nore, to set him all right on his sea legs.
There is no use in doing things hurriedly. Winkinson intended starting by the next packet, but he has just learnt that it is impossible to stand the fatigues of the diggings without drinking an enormous quantity of peach brandy, by way of fortification. It would be madness to commence the journey till he has seasoned himself a little to that sort of thing.
N.B. Beards are worn at the diggings. Winkinson has allowed his to grow, and, in consequence, forfeited his situation.
The Members of a "Crack" Regiment will behave in a Gallant and Dashing Manner.
MAY.
The Derby.—Our own Prophecy.
After the announcement of our prophetic intentions, the most thrilling anxiety will doubtless exist in the sporting world, to know what we have to say on this important subject. To oblige so large and so respectable a class of our readers, we have given it our closest attention.
The only matter of any importance connected with the Derby, we decline saying anything about at all, is the name of the winner. This comparatively slight reservation is made solely from a disinclination to interfere with vested interests.
On the great day, Members of Parliament will insist upon a holiday, claiming it as their right as Britons. The Right Honourable Mr. Disraeli will remark that it is all Race.
The members of a crack regiment will amuse themselves on their return from Epsom, by throwing brickbats, vitriol, &c. at the foot passengers. The blame will be laid on a respectable stockbroker, who will be imprisoned for the offence, the military gentlemen proving an alibi. A weak-minded young ensign of the party having expressed some regret that the innocent should suffer, and hinted that the real offenders ought to give themselves up like men—will be cashiered, with a severe reprimand from the commanding officer, for his want of esprit de corps and true gentlemanly feeling.
Several shop tills and betting-office stools will be found vacant on settling day.
Turf Maxim.—Never look a gift horse in the mouth without taking care of your fingers.
A New Picture will be purchased by the Trustees of the National Gallery for £40,000, and will attract Great Attention.