JUNE.
Balloon ascents on a scale of peril hitherto unattempted will be the features of this month. Madame Poitevin will go up from Cremorne Gardens attached to the bottom of the car of the Globe Balloon by six penn'orth of wafers only. The veteran Green, by the announcement of his 8000th ascent, suspended by warranted unsafe cords, will prove that, in spite of his vast age and experience, he is not yet old enough to know better.
A gentleman from one of the East-end gardens will be indicted by the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals—for attempting an ascent on a live donkey. The Magistrate will dismiss the case, very properly, by sending both parties to the pound together.
The principles of aërial navigation will not yet be discovered. A man of consummate genius, however, will turn the invention of the balloon to considerable account. He will hire one as a family residence in order to dodge the Income Tax. He will send down ironical messages to the commissioners by means of parachutes.
The usual cheap excursion trips will commence for the season—the competition between companies leading to still further reduction of fares. Passengers will be booked through to Paris and back, first class for eighteenpence (half the fare to be refunded in case of sea-sickness); with the privilege of speaking to the man at the wheel; hotel expenses for a week; the use of a courier; tickets for all the balls at the Tuileries; instruction in the French language; the cross of the Legion of Honour; and the right of smuggling.