In the world, a young woman is in danger of a love of Fame, as concerns her Personal appearance, her style of Living, and especially the Entertainments given, on her account, by her parents. It is right that we love the approbation of the virtuous; nor may we violate good taste for the sake of defying popular opinion. But she, who allows her desire of human esteem to supplant the higher sentiments and principles of our nature, clearly does wrong. And are there not those, who pine in secret, because they receive less notice than their ambition craves? It is nothing to such that hundreds are won, so long as a single heart refuses them homage. What condition more truly deplorable than this insatiable thirst for applause? We are told that Elizabeth of England, “who referred everything to self, was even jealous of the beauty and the dress of her maids of honor. When advanced in years, the sight of her face in a mirror would throw her into transports of rage, and so exasperated did she become, as finally to lay her mirror wholly aside.”
You shall see this same spirit manifested in an excessive care for showy furniture, in the encouragement of artificial and numberless wants, and in a willingness to live on resources dishonestly obtained, and on means belonging rightfully to another, sooner than relinquish one particle of former splendors. In ambitious entertainments, how often is woman tempted to lift herself above those, whom it should delight her to meet in society as her equals. If they can afford only plain walls, hers must be garnished. Her chamber must exhibit tapestry, and her windows the silken and fringed curtain, or she will not surpass them. Her table must groan beneath the productions of all climates. Already it is said, we in America expend in our dwellings, on a slender income, more than many in Europe, who have millions at their command.
Now let the young woman be made acquainted with these facts. Although a fond father or mother would fain make her presentation eclipse the displays of her richest neighbors, let modesty dissuade her from this course. She may save a parent from bankruptcy. He, who is a true friend, will assure her that life is not that rose-colored thing, which some of her companions describe to her. Let her know that a vortex is before her, and ere her feet are within its feeblest eddies, let her prudently escape the peril. A quiet life, inward adorning, should be the jewel worn nearest her heart. If she cherish a thirst for outward exhibitions, too late may it be her doom to feel that the sunshine of the world’s favor and applause, has but beamed upon her, to make more fearfully distinct the caverns and wastes of her ever unsatisfied heart.
The young woman is passing into a state of society in which she will find much merely nominal Morality. At home she has probably been nurtured amid sincere hearts, and under the high standard of Christian action. In the world she will hear indeed the same standard, for the most part, verbally commended. But let her not anticipate the same practical conformity to its requirements. She will still be told that purity of mind, soul, and manners, is the shield of her sex, and yet, in some circles, practices shall be tolerated, or fashions of dress, or conversation permitted, which to her all-unsophisticated reason must seem absolutely indefensible. History tells us, that in the thirteenth century, when the plague raged in Florence, it spread through the suburbs of that city, from the exhalations of certain beautiful flowers. See, my young friends, that the lovely associates of your life, even by their most interesting traits, do not betray you into, first slight, then graver, and at length into serious, departures from rectitude and purity.
As a check against the corrupting influences of popular opinion and practices, woman should cultivate two virtues, Moral Independence, and perfect Ingenuousness. If she determine to cleave sacredly to her homebred convictions of right, let the world commend or condemn her, she will maintain the royalty of her sex. Her path will be broad, free, upward, and ever toward God and felicity. But let her succumb to society, and bow to every mandate of fashion, and she shall become a mental and moral slave.
Equally would I incite you to the retention of your youthful Frankness, and Simplicity. When a child, you expressed precisely what you felt. Let not womanhood rob you of this angelic trait. Shun art; abhor affectation. Set to your seal, that, if detected in this habit, you will lose the confidence and the respect of all noble minds. Know that if you are always ingenuous, you will secure self-respect, and a conscious integrity of heart. Let clouds lower, let the storms of deceit menace the circle you grace, on you will all eyes fix,—and none more benignantly than the All-seeing one above;—and in you will all behold the blue ether of Heaven.
If the general dangers which beset a young woman, on her entrance into society be great, those which have reference to her own Sex require of her a peculiar watchfulness. Let philosophy explain, as it may, the cause, nothing is more certain than that the feelings, and deportment, and speech, that occur between her and her sister females, are a source of constant temptation. Man has charity for the faults of woman; and she has much for the errors of his sex; but for those of her own sex how contracted is her mercy. Never are her Christian principles so tried, as when the character of another is in any wise impeached. Curiosity, opening paths filled with snares, often leads her to venture, where angels dare not tread. Let her mark well its perils, and beware how she intermeddle, with tongue or thought, in the secrets of her neighbor.
A root of iniquity in this world is Envy. In the lower grades of society what pining and misery might be traced to this baleful passion. Why are the actions of a rich rival, or one endowed with personal charms, or gifts in conversation, and the object of attraction in society, so often disparaged, and ascribed to any but pure motives? Whence is it, that a woman of talent and literary claims shall be thought by so many of her sex tinged with “blue?” Why the secret endeavor to awaken ill-will toward the distinguished, and the reluctance to join in the defence of such, when unjustly accused? Too readily are the faults of a compeer rehearsed, and too slowly are her virtues acknowledged. Should the modesty of some one be commended, may it not be because her diffidence gives us room to pass before her in the public eye?
During the middle ages, the young and the beautiful were sometimes burned at the stake, on the charge of having dealt in magic. If the body be not thus sacrificed, in this latter age, truth knows that the peace and happiness of many an innocent young woman are devoured by insatiate envy. Imitate, my young friends, the sweet temper of those ladies in Switzerland, who are reported to be so firmly knit together in the Infant Societies peculiar to that country, as often to meet, after separation, in the meridian of life, with the affection of sisters. A love like this would scorch and destroy each germ of envy, while it gave life, vigor, and permanence, to a gospel charity.
Akin to envy is the passion of Jealousy. The conscious possession of eminent attainments exposes one to this sin. Let it not be palliated, as if consistent with humility. It is the child of a morbid selfishness. It is pride, which makes us jealous of inferiors; never does humility. Observe the manners of her who is infected with this spirit. Does that lofty carriage, do those averted eyes, and that sullen lip, speak of self-abasement? Woman, dwelling in and for her affections, is prone insensibly to indulge the risings of jealousy. A female writer says, “Our sex are apt to be more aristocratic than men.” The aristocracy of claiming attention, friendship, promptly and unremittingly manifested, the aristocracy, in a word, of the heart, who can doubt that this sex often does cherish. Counsel, therefore, calls them to be vigilant, lest they offend in this respect, even unawares. Is a young maiden in prosperous circumstances? Let her know that the growing fortunes of another will excite her to temptation and prejudice. Even now the branches of the oak, that will tower and shade her whole being, might be detected in the acorn. Has God endowed her with personal charms? Prudence would apprise her, that “if the body be a paradise, it needs a cherub to guard the spirit within it.”