To how many is love a theme for Jesting and Sport. The ancients represented Cupid under the aspect of a boy engaged in amusement. He appears driving a hoop, throwing a quoit, playing with a nymph, catching a butterfly, or flying with a bright torch in his hand, shewing, in each case, that love is a subject for sport. Let heathenism, if it must, so regard it; but the Christian ought never to trifle with this sacred interest. The rite of marriage is a solemn thing. Who would jeer, and jest, as she stood before the altar, and pledged fidelity unto death to her betrothed partner? And why, I would ask, should the preliminaries of marriage be treated as a theme fit only for levity and merriment? It is said that we Americans are peculiar for banter on this subject. One scarcely hears it alluded to in society, except with a laugh, or a jest. As a natural consequence of this state of feeling, and this style of conversation relative to the affections, it is not easy to know when one speaks as he means on this topic. Not “seriously,”—for the matter is all sport,—not in “sober earnest” may you take what is said, since soberness is supposed to be wholly irrelevant to so light a subject.
And then too the effect of this practice on the feelings and deportment of the parties most nearly concerned, even during their engagement,—if this take place amid the bandying of jests,—is often unhappy. The same levity pervades their conversation and manners toward one another; and there is scarcely one sober sentiment, or calm thought, associated with their interviews.
So also has this habit a blighting influence upon the views with which the individuals are at length joined in marriage. What was commenced in gaiety and sport, and has been continued in the same spirit, is consummated in thoughtlessness. It is only when these scenes of mutual delusion and folly are over, and the two beings are united by an inseparable bond, and begin to feel the pressure of real duty and actual life, that they look on each other as rational creatures ought. The words, sacred, and principle, the thought of responsibility to God, ideas of solemnity, are now for the first time associated with marriage. Can this condition of mind be other than deleterious to the virtue, peace and happiness, of the parties involved in its effects? “O there is nothing holier, in this life of ours, than the first consciousness of love,—the first rising sound and breath of that wind, which is so soon to sweep through the soul, to purify, or to destroy!” So let every young maiden deem of this sentiment. None will then banter words with her upon her sacred affections; for there will be that in her air and language, when this topic is referred to, which shall convince every one that she holds it a consecrated theme.
In summing up my general remarks on the view to be taken of love, I would say, talk little with your companions about it; and resolve, if the topic can only be introduced by a jest, that you will preserve upon it a profound silence. This would at first make you appear singular. But such a course would soon commend itself to every considerate friend and acquaintance in your circle. Or, if some should persist in importuning and teazing you in regard to it, you would be sustained by the consciousness of exerting all your influence for the elevation of society in their views, and conversation, on the most holy of human connections.
Nor should the mind be permitted to dwell constantly upon this subject. Some are perpetually imagining themselves in love; others are dreaming over the philosophy of the affections, and wasting precious hours upon that which adds nothing to their happiness, and does little to prepare them for married life. Let the mind be kept tranquil on this subject; the heart will then be preserved in its soundness. No good affection will die or decay, but, in the time and method ordained by Providence, advances will be made, and the heart addressed, and the hand solicited for marriage. Let the young maiden bide the passing months in cheerfulness, and prepare herself for a Christian life. A character thus matured will give hope of the happiest results in new relations, and amid all the coming and unknown scenes that await her.
VII.
Single Life.
A wrong idea. Some designed for Single Life. The “Old Maid’s” reproach. Addison. Two errors, Reserve, and Forwardness. Virtues of Single women. Humanity. Modesty. Economy. Neatness. Usefulness. Hannah More. Miss Sedgwick. Miss Porter’s “Aunt Rebecca.” Avoid affectation. Advice of Mrs. Hall. Two essentials, Mental Cultivation, and Industry.