There are two things requisite, I believe, however, to the enjoyment of its best effects, in a single state. The lady, who proposes to herself this destination, should cultivate her Mind. A good education prepares one for any fortune, or condition of life. She, who has stores of knowledge and a well-balanced intellect, will find herself possessed of unfailing resources, both of improvement and happiness. It is the ignorant, those whose thoughts feed on vacuity, and who, through the want of mental culture, dwell incessantly on degrading subjects, that suffer in the single state.
The other preparation I referred to, is Occupation, habits of industry. An intelligent person may be indolent, and if so, the mental cultivation she has enjoyed may only serve to expose her feelings to more acute pain, from her solitary state. But she who is diligent in domestic economy, in the use of her needle, in the daily reading of valuable works, and especially in doing good, as she has opportunity, to others, can hardly be miserable, because unmarried. She will make friends, wherever she may reside, and find hearts rejoicing to reciprocate her affection.
VIII.
Reasons for Marriage.
The Fear of being Single. Faith, and Moral Courage needed. Marrying to gratify friends. “Match makers.” Self-will. To leave an Unpleasant Home. To obtain a Home. Practices in Mexico and France. Marrying for Wealth. Offer in Texas. Personal Beauty. A noble example. Fancy. Influence of Novels, and impure Poetry. Flattery. Passion. Personal Bravery. Custom, in island of Borneo. Proximity. Family Connections. Persian marriages. Marrying from the cradle. Personal Distinction. Nobility of Naples. Tragedy in Philadelphia. Love of Conquest and Power. Madam Gamarra of Peru. To escape Toil and Care. Marrying to Reform. Being importuned. From a Sense of Duty. As a Business transaction.
To attempt the enumeration of all the inducements which may lead a young woman to marry, were perhaps a hopeless task. So complex are our motives that it is difficult to analyze them correctly, or even to say with confidence what was the sole motive operating on the mind in any particular action. This difficulty is increased, where the affections are concerned. They are too subtle and ethereal in their nature, to be subjected to minute examination. I shall, therefore, only promise in this chapter to endeavor, as I am able, to treat of a part of the reasons for marriage, as they affect most persons in actual life.
At the head of these stands the fear of being Single. There is supposed to be some latent and terrific evil in remaining unmarried. The imagination of the girl depicts its loneliness, its desolation, the blight it must shed on every gentle and happy emotion, the reproach it must bring on her from her entire circle of acquaintances, and the pride with which her more successful companions will look down upon her. These and other features in the picture become so fearful to contemplate, that she resolves to embrace the first opportunity to escape so awful a dilemma. She will engage herself as soon as practicable, lest she should outstand her day, and be left in the dread condition of an “old maid.” Hence a train of miseries.
To prevent this calamity,—for it often proves a serious one,—I would recommend the culture of two virtues, Faith, and Moral Courage.