Too Deep.
The President at a dinner party related the following with much gusto: “During one of the retreats of the Army of the Potomac, some of the cavalry had a desire to cross, the commanding officer called out to them to ‘form two deep.’ One of them, however, in advance of the rest, and up to his horse’s nose in water, called out that he was ‘too deep already.’”
How to Conquer the South.
The kind words the President said regarding the enemy, called forth a rebuke from an elderly lady who was present. She wondered how he could speak kindly of his enemies, when he should rather destroy them. “What, madam?” replied the President, “do I not destroy them when I make them my friends?”
Gratuitous Kindness.
When President Lincoln was a very young man, he paid a visit to New York. While there, some thief contrived to ease him of his watch. The next day the young joker inserted the following in the New York Herald: “Stolen, a watch worth a hundred dollars. If the thief will return it, he shall be informed, gratis, where he may steal one worth two of it, and no questions asked.”
Blowing Hot and Cold.
“It’s very hot in the south, Mr. Lincoln, is it not?” said a personal friend to Lincoln, on his return from a visit to an important station of the Federal army. “Very,” was the ready answer, “I saw a woman do her ironing with no other warming power save that of the sunshine, and as I came away she was hanging her kettle out of the window to get her tea ready.”
Negro Pluck.
On Mrs. Lincoln doubting the heroism of the niggers, her husband related the following:—“A negro at Boston had a severe attack of rheumatism, which finally settled in his foot. He bathed it and rubbed it, but to no purpose. Finally, tearing the bandage off, he stuck it out with a savage grin, and shaking his fist at it, exclaimed, ‘Ache away, dear old feller, I shan’t do nothing more for yer; dis child,’ tapping his breast, ‘can stand it as long as you can, so ache away.’”