A Poultry (paltry) War.
A crony of Abe’s—a man named Payne, was appointed a general at Illinois; in reference to his election the following is recorded, which the president tells with great gusto: One day a wealthy old lady, whose plantation was in the vicinity of the camp, came in and inquired for General Payne. When the commander made his appearance, the old lady in warm language told him that his men had stolen her last coop of chickens, and demanded its restoration or its value in money. “I am sorry for you, madam,” replied the general, “but I can’t help it. The fact is, Madam, we are determined to squelch out the rebellion, if it cost every d——d chicken in Tennessee.”
Lincoln on Physic.
Lincoln once said of an apothecary, that his employment was to pour drugs, of which he knew little, into a body of which he knew less.
False Accusation.
When General Peck attempted to take Blackwater, in Virginia, fear was expressed, that from his known sternness, he would compromise the honour of the Federal cause by giving the place up to pillage. “No fear,” said Lincoln, “it takes more pecks than one to make a sack.”
How to make Foes.
“When I give away a place,” said Lincoln, to a person who was continually importuning him, “I discover that I always make a hundred foes to one friend.”