THE NINTH BOOK OF HOMER'S ILIAD.
ARGUMENT.
This book begins with Atreus' son
Persuading all his Greeks to run,
Let's haste, says he, and save our lives,
And like good husbands kiss our wives;
For, if we stay, be sure Old Nick
Will play us some damn'd slipp'ry trick;
Nor hope the sooty-fac'd old boy
Will e'er desert his fav'rite Troy.
At this fine speech Tydides swore
Worse than he'd ever done before,
And spoke his mind, because he reckon'd
Old Chatterbags would be his second:
Here he was right: th' old cock begun,
And d—d his eyes if he would run.
They then consult to know which way
They can with any safety stay.
Old Square-toes in the humour still is
To try and reconcile Achilles;
Then adds, I think it not amiss is
To send both Ajax and Ulysses.
As he propos'd, they both are sent,
And with them goody Phœnix went.
Now, though it plain appears, that each
Made in his turn a pretty speech,
And did with as much cunning plead
As ******, when he's double-fee'd,
Achilles turn'd it all to farce,
And clapp'd his hand upon his a—e.
HOMER'S ILIAD.
BOOK IX.
Whilst Troy's bold sons with shouts get drunk,
The conquer'd Grecians sweat and funk.
As when a tailor's boy has got
His master's goose, almost red hot,
The coat it singes; straight the fire
The bloody tailor fills with ire:
He thumps the lad with all his might,
First with his left hand, then his right;
The bastard's head, on both sides beat,
Can neither stay, nor yet retreat;
No chance for his escape appears,
Whilst double storms attack his ears:
Just so it far'd with Greece; away
They could not run, nor durst they stay:
Poor Agamemnon was distress'd
Nine times as much as all the rest
(You'll say, perhaps, How could he choose?
For he'd nine times as much to lose):
Howe'er, he calls his man, to send him
To beg the captains would attend him;
But charges him before he goes,
To bid 'em tread upon their toes.
As they were bid, they found their legs,
But walk'd as if they trod on eggs.
Their near approach the chief espying,
Rose up to show 'em he was crying;
And ere his doleful tale began,
He sobb'd and blubber'd like a man.
As they were bid, they found their legs,
But walk'd as if they trod on eggs.
Their near approach the chief espying,
Rose up to show 'em he was crying.