These particulars, posterity will no doubt admit upon the testimony of Suck-Fist; especially as he adds, that if any body shall say, that Bumbo reasoned upon other principles, he is ready to contradict them, by saying it is not true. He subjoins, that Jowler paid him great respect in speaking after him; and we ourselves know, that Small-Trash exclaimed, that he had gained immortal honour.
CHAP. XVII.
How Mrs. Bull settled her stomach.
Mrs. Bull, in the course of the foregoing speech, was observed by many people to change colour, and before it was done, hartshorn-drops and smelling-bottles were produced in abundance. Every one said, that nobody but Jowler could settle her stomach, for he used to stun her sometimes, so as to take away the sense of every thing else, which has often been observed to have very good effects in trifling illnesses, by drawing off the patient’s attention, as the fear of drowning will do in the case of sea sickness, and blisters, caustics, and stimulusses, in the case of other disorders. Jowler accordingly set to work with her: but for want of the big words, with which he used to coax John Bull, and which he avoided now for reasons best known to himself, he could produce nothing that day, but a maukish sort of stuff, that was little better than the warm water, which people are made to drink after a vomit.
In short, Mrs. Bull was up and just going, when one of Peg’s clerks begged her not to be rash in dismissing a business, in which the interest, the honour, and the preservation of her husband’s family, were so deeply involved; he told her, that he was surprized, to find any objections made to the terms of the order that was laid before her, as they did not pretend to ask any more at that time, than that she should appoint a day to consider that order, and correct it if she thought proper; that if she refused that request, the whole world must say, that she was determined to hear no reason on the subject, and would be left to suspect, that she had as little inclination to the measure in Mr. Bull’s own house, as in his sister’s; for he had scarcely heard one argument, that was not equally strong against it in both. That whether this was the case or no, he never could think the establishment secure, whilst it reached only to one part of the family, nor the union between the two houses compleat, whilst some were treated like step-children or bastards, and others like gentlemen and heirs to the paternal estate.
It were painful, says he, to lay before you at large the iniquity of such a conduct, of which I believe you incapable; but if you are disposed to hear what may be offered on the point in general, I have yet those impressions deeply rooted in my breast, which made me wish for this establishent in your house, as the best security to your fortune, your honour, and your life. Impressions, which make me behold with joy, the steps you have pursued, altho’ I am now reduced to the necessity of begging as a favour, in behalf of a parent, what, on the foot of equal treatment, she has a right to demand; and what, if refused, must appear as a stain to her honour, and a mark of disparity which she was not born to endure. But her opposers have saved us the trouble of enlarging on this topic, and wisely made it unnecessary to prove, what is already too plain.
The arguments are such as would make us believe, that every moment which is bestowed by individuals for the good of the public, is lost to that family for which it is bestowed. They talk of the advantage of private industry, but speak of every practice that connects an individual in his views or affections with the family to which he belongs, as an allurement to idleness and sloth. To act for the family, to defend it in times of peril, is the noblest office to which any individual can aspire; and if he labours within your doors to heap up wealth, without having a soul capable of this office; you may call him, indeed, a gainful property, but will scarcely show him among your children, when they come to appear before those who are judges of men. Who upon such an occasion would point out a sneaking mercenary selfish coward, and call him his child? Yet such is the race which we are desired to propagate, and such is the character which we are cautioned not to corrupt.
We have heard from many the praise of industry, as if any body were inclined to dispute that praise. We have heard at large, the advantages of wealth, as if wealth and industry were inconsistent with the measure for which we contend. From this source, say they, your store-houses and your granaries are filled: let them tell us then from what source the defence of our stores are to proceed? Will our wealth deter a rapacious enemy? Are the eagles intimidated, when they are told that the doves are fatter than they? No; but our wealth will hire a protector. Who then will defend us against the protector whom we have hired? Is the gripe of a rapacious hireling less to be feared, than that of a rival at the gate? But our wealth, we are told, will enable us to maintain a large and a numerous family. But what is it will render that family worth maintaining, or make the company of those numbers that we hear of desirable? For my part, I never thought it a blessing to be placed in a multitude of base, degenerate, and selfish men. If the people we live with are vile, the more there are of them, just so much the worse.
I have been surprised, therefore, to hear gentlemen speak of filling a house with men, without ever mentioning the quality of those numbers they mean to assemble; and speak of cloaths and food, as of consequence, whilst the character of him who is to use them is neglected. A little reflection will convince, that the soul of a man is of more value than his possessions, and that the happiness of individuals, as well as that of the families which they compose, depends more on the generosity, justice and fortitude of their spirit, than on the trappings in which they are cloathed, or the quantity of merchandize they sell to their neighbour. They, however, who contend that the present measure is inconsistent with the success of industry and traffic, throw these advantages into a light of greater contempt, than I am disposed to do. We excell our predecessors in the art of procuring wealth; we excell them in the knowledge of domestick oeconomy; why should we not excell them too in the skill and resolution to defend advantages, which so far exceed what they ever possessed?
Without we carry this quality along with us, other advantages are of little avail; wealth and affluence are but allurements to rapine; even a disposition to gentleness, humanity and candour, but exposes the more to the assaults of others, and doth not secure the integrity of him who inherits it. If I contend with a knave in behalf of the innocent, and dare not stand the hazard of a contest when brought to extremes, my antagonist knows how to prevail from the first, for I shrink from the countenance of a person who is hardier than I. I am prepared on the slightest trial to betray my friend, my brother, my father, and the honour of my race. I am already formed for a slave, and hold my safety and my life by the tenor of another’s will. There is no vice, which may not be grafted on cowardice, as successfully as upon avarice itself, that other stock which we are so willing to cultivate.