Case 2.—This case provides us with another description of the undifferentiated sexual impulse. X. is thirty years of age. No morbid condition is demonstrable in him. He remembers that the first sentiments which he regards as sexual were experienced by him in the country. His home was in a town, but during the holidays he was sent to board in the country, in the house of a clergyman. He played much in the open air, and he still recalls quite distinctly the passion with which, first of all, he approached animals. "As if by an irresistible impulse I was attracted, now by a goat, now by a dog, sometimes even by a horse. No excitement of the genital organs was noticeable at this time, but I have no doubt whatever now that these inclinations were sexual in their nature. Not only did I touch the animals, but I embraced them and kissed them. The warmth and the odour proceeding from such an animal, which is now as a rule distasteful to me, was then a source of pleasure. When I left the country, I took these memories away with me, but gradually they faded and became faint. Next a fondness for one of my school-fellows became most marked, and this lasted for a long time. I know not how to describe the feeling I had for him otherwise than as an immeasurable, passionate love. I was unhappy when I sat above him in the class. Occasionally we sat side by side, but not always, since our places were determined by our performances in class. If I was sitting next above him, it was a joy to me to fail deliberately to answer a question, simply in order to enable him to take my place, and thus to give him pleasure. This relationship continued undisturbed for several years; we rose together from class to class and remained friends. Not until the beginning of the true puberal development did this fondness begin to wane. I began to learn dancing rather early, and in the dancing-class was a girl by whom I was now greatly attracted. She was of the same age as myself—fourteen years. As far as I can remember, my inclinations were now confined for a time to my boy companion and to this girl. At first my affection for the boy was the greater, but gradually my affection for the girl, who was healthy and vivacious in appearance, became stronger. Still, this passion was a fire of straw, for though, in the course of the next few years, my fondness for the boy gradually declined, whilst my affection for the girl grew stronger, yet later this girl was expelled from my circle of interests by others, my inclinations changing rapidly from one girl to another. Homosexual sentiments hardly existed any more. Very occasionally, indeed, even up to my twentieth year, a certain interest was aroused in me by any youth with a truly girlish, milk-white countenance. But subsequently this homosexual inclination disappeared entirely, and my heterosexual development was completed, so that I am now, I believe, in every respect a healthy male."
Case 3.—Next we have the case of a woman, now married and twenty-six years of age, in whom also the undifferentiated sexual impulse was clearly manifested. From the age of eight to the age of fifteen years she attended a day-school for girls, and subsequently, after receiving private tuition for a time, went to a boarding-school. "In my earlier years I can recall no feelings for my school-fellows beyond those of simple friendship. We kissed one another, but no more intimate contact took place. In these kisses, I was not aware of any sentiment exceeding pure friendship; and to-day when I thoroughly understand the nature of the kiss of erotic love, I do not believe that there was any erotic element intermingled with these first kisses. Such simple friendliness towards my fellow-schoolgirls persisted unaltered even after in my tenth year I first experienced a sentiment of enthusiastic devotion. This latter was inspired by an actress, a remarkably beautiful woman visiting our town—I lived then in a town of medium size—whose pictures were displayed in all the shop windows. Although I realised later that her talents were by no means of a high order, and notwithstanding the fact that I never saw her on the stage, I conceived for her an enthusiastic admiration. I tried from time to time, when I could do so without being observed, to catch a glimpse of her in the street; almost the only possible opportunity was when she was on her way to rehearsals. When the actress went away, her place in my heart was occupied by a schoolmaster of typically masculine appearance, with a full, fair beard. He gave us lessons in history, literature, and German. Nearly all the class were fascinated by him, and I by no means less than the others. This admiration lasted almost the whole of the remaining time during which I attended the school. When I went to the boarding-school, being now somewhat older, and regarded as almost a young woman, I was allowed to witness a representation of Faust. The part of Gretchen was played by an actress who is still of note to-day, and she made a most enduring impression on me. To my great delight I was unexpectedly presented to her, and she wrote a line or two in my album. Unfortunately, the headmistress would not allow us to go often to the theatre, a prohibition doubtless in part dependent on the high prices of the seats. But I still remember quite distinctly how I trembled with joy whenever I was allowed to go. I remember, too, that on one occasion, in which it had been arranged that I was to go to see a play in which this actress did not appear, I shammed illness in order to save up the price of the seat, go that I might use it on another occasion, on which I should be able to see her. This particular enthusiasm lasted as long as I remained at the boarding-school. When later I grew old enough to marry, and when with the approval of my parents a gentleman who appeared to love me (though, in fact, I think he was influenced rather by prudential motives) began to pay me his addresses, my fondness for the actress soon began to fade away. Even at the present day, however, I esteem this artiste very highly indeed, and the impression which she made on my imagination will never be entirely expunged from my memory. If I were to see her to-day, I should willingly kiss her hands, in thankfulness for the happy hours she has given me; but I do not believe that any erotic element now remains in my feeling for her. I may add that I do not love my husband passionately, although I love him well enough. Physical contact with the actress of whom I have spoken would not be positively repulsive to me, but such contact would, as far as I am concerned, be entirely devoid of sexual feeling, and the idea of sexual contact with a person of my own sex is very unpleasant to me; whereas in sexual intercourse with my husband I am perfectly normal." This patient does not belong to the class of sexually anæsthetic women; she feels the impulse towards sexual intercourse, and in intercourse she experiences normal enjoyment.
I shall now discuss some of the general phenomena of the contrectation impulse in the child. Sanford Bell has published cases in which as early as the age of two years psychosexual phenomena have been observed. But in many of Bell's cases a sexual basis for the feelings of attraction does not appear to have been adequately proved to exist. Unquestionably, however, sexual phenomena are more frequently observed in proportion as the child's age increases. Although in the case of children it is very difficult for others to arrive at certainty regarding the sexual or non-sexual character of certain manifestations, still, in the eighth year of life, the phenomena of the contrectation impulse become so frequent—I am referring here to personal observations—that at this time of life these phenomena must be regarded, not merely as not pathological, but further, as not even abnormal. The older the child becomes, the more are the phenomena of the contrectation impulse complicated by those of detumescence. The processes of contrectation, however, may continue to manifest themselves during the first years of the period of youth in complete isolation from any apparent changes in the genital organs. The manifestations of what is known as "calf-love" commonly occur quite independently of any thought of sexual contact.
Very various are the objects of this early attraction. Often a boy is attracted by a girl of about his own age; often, again, by a girl considerably older than himself. On the other hand, as has been previously shown, when the sexual attraction felt by the boy is exhibited towards one of his own sex, it may sometimes happen that the object of attraction is a boy of his own age, sometimes a man considerably older than himself. By no means rare are sexual inclinations on the part of boys towards their masters—in some cases a private tutor; in others, a schoolmaster. With girls similar variations are observed. A girl may love another girl of her own age, and this is extremely common in the case of girls at boarding-schools. But a boy, a friend of her brother's, may be the object of a girl's affection. Frequently, again, a girl may become attached to some one considerably older than herself, commonly a master or a governess. Persons playing some conspicuous part in life very readily inspire love: an artist, for instance; or an actress, about whom all the papers are writing, and of whom everyone is talking. In many cases, the personal appearance plays a considerable part in originating the attraction. At times, indeed, affection is inspired by individuals devoid of all personal charm. But, speaking generally, we shall find that to the child, no less than to the adult, in sexual relationships beauty is by no means indifferent. A pretty girl is more attractive to a boy than an ugly one. A handsome master will charm a girl much more than one who is ill-favoured or deformed. Other qualities besides beauty affect the issue. Effeminate boys or tomboyish girls are apt to be repulsive to other children; they are exposed to mockery and teasing of all kinds, and are very unlikely to give rise to erotic sentiments in their companions. It is by no means rare for the inclinations of children to be directed towards their own parents. In the case of many children who are fond of "getting into mother's bed," sexual sentiments lie at the root of the desire. Moreover, it is occasionally asserted that sexual differentiation manifests itself in this connexion in very early childhood, the little boy preferring to cuddle his mother; the little girl, on the other hand, to be caressed by her father. In the chapter on diagnosis, I shall consider the distinction of such sexual inclinations from other sympathetic feelings manifested in childhood. It is a remarkable fact that the first sexual inclinations are very rarely directed towards a child's own brother or sister. I have, indeed, been able to observe a considerable number of such exceptional instances, both homosexual and heterosexual in character. But, I repeat, such cases are comparatively rare. We must not, of course, confuse with genuine sexual inclinations and acts, cases in which from curiosity alone brothers and sisters indulge together in obscene conversation and even improper practices. Unquestionably, the lack of sexual sympathy between brothers and sisters depends upon a deeply rooted psychological causation. Above all, in this connexion, we have to bear in mind the slight degree of influence each exercises on the senses of the other, precisely in consequence of the long-continued, comparatively unrestrained intercourse between them. Further, the conventional factors implanted in mankind from earliest childhood play their part. Many, perhaps, will see an additional cause in teleological considerations, aiming at the avoidance of in-and-in breeding.
Many lovers incline to the romantic transfiguration of the object of their affection, a process in which the imagination plays an important part; but for this to be possible, it is, of course, necessary that an age should have been attained at which the imagination is sufficiently active. The age at which the child has learned to delight in fairy-tales is here of importance; from the contents of such fairy-tales all kinds of ideas are transferred to the sexual sphere. Romantic embellishment plays a great part not merely in childhood, but also later in life; but in childhood, this tendency often exists to an extraordinary degree. The person whom a boy loves must be very highly placed; for example, during the period of the undifferentiated sexual impulse, he prefers a boy of the highest possible birth. Similarly, a young girl who loves a boy will invest him in imagination with every possible attribute of distinction and high rank. Often the love is directed towards a person of no concrete existence, or towards one who is unattainable.[35] We may sometimes be in doubt whether we have to do with sexual love, or whether some other sentiment may not be in operation. For example, the devotion to some saint of either sex may overpower all other feelings. Where a child is enamoured of some definite individual, self-deception occurs just as it does in adults similarly situated. The faults of the beloved one are imaginatively transmuted into virtues, or any possible excuse is found for them. Is a boy attracted by a girl known to be habitually untruthful? Especially when himself unaware that his interest is sexual, he looks out for every merit she may possibly possess, in order that his fondness may be justified. Her untruthfulness is transfigured as caution and cleverness; her vanity becomes neatness; idleness is excused on the ground that she has to attend to more important duties; and the boy regards his interest in the girl as exclusively friendly in character, and as justified by her superlative excellences. Sometimes, in children no less than in adults, a sexual inclination masquerades as an educational interest. Thus, under the influence of sexual attraction, a girl becomes intimate with a boy endowed with various bad qualities and impulses, and endeavours to utilise this intimacy for the boy's advantage, in order that he may free himself of his faults as he grows to manhood. Such a girl may succeed in persuading herself that this motive is the exclusive cause of her interest in the boy. A similar combination of educational and sexual motives is, moreover, often encountered in the case of homosexual sentiments.
The child's sexual inclination may manifest itself in many different ways. It seeks every opportunity of seeing, of being in close proximity to, of touching, and of kissing the beloved person. Thus, many a boy takes part in the common sports, solely because the girl whom he loves is one of the players. Sanford Bell mentions numerous games in which children find pleasure chiefly for the reason that kissing plays a principal part in them. For kissing is one of the leading manifestations of sexual desire; and another is the wish for close proximity to and for embracing the beloved person. A mother who kept a close watch on her eight-year-old daughter told me that when in play a boy of ten pressed close up against the girl; they kissed one another somewhat passionately, and the boy broke out in the naïve utterance, "You don't know how fond I am of you; I do love you so." Not infrequently, indeed, children are really troublesome to adults in their desire for close physical contact. I have known instances in which young women or girls have been intolerably annoyed by boys eight or nine years of age, who have continually followed them about and pressed up against them; this has gone on for a long time without those concerned recognising the sexual foundation of such conduct. Love on the part of children almost invariably gives rise to the desire for physical contact of some kind. Of course, other manifestations also occur. Besides the contemplation of the beloved person, contemplation of his or her picture plays a notable part. A sexual motive occasionally underlies the wrestling so common among boys—in such cases it is the manifestation of a desire for intimate physical contact with the beloved boy. According to Sanford Bell, a boy and a girl may also wrestle with one another with the same end in view of attaining intimate contact; and he states that children lift one another with the same object. Moreover, children are induced to wrestle by sexual motives of a somewhat different character; the wish is operative to be overcome by, or, it may be, to overcome, the beloved boy. Herein we see displayed very clearly those sexual feelings known to us in adults under the names of masochism and sadism; the same feelings are occasionally observed also in childhood; in some cases as manifestations of the undifferentiated sexual impulse, in others as manifestations of developing sexual perversions.
The more intensely passionate the love of the child, the more fantastical is its conduct. The child sometimes endeavours to imitate the beloved person in every detail, often with the most ridiculous results. A boy's mode of dress, even, may be influenced by his love for a girl, and still more by his love for another boy. The child tries also to imitate the movements of the beloved person, and in walking to tread in the same footsteps. The youthful knight seeks in every possible way to become pleasing to the girl of his choice, and to exhibit to her every attention in his power. He does all this, not merely in imitation of the conduct of grown-up persons, but for the gratification of his own impulses. Sometimes we are able to observe the changes of mood that occur in the child when the loved one is present or absent. The boy bubbles over with joy when the girl he loves draws near; sorrow and depression overwhelm him when the hour of parting is at hand. All kinds of fetichistic sentiments are also met with even in childhood. Every object belonging to the loved one is covered with passionate kisses; and everything which has been touched by the beloved, has been endowed for the child-lover with a quite exceptional value. "Those lovely girls whom kindly or cruel Nature has predestined to awaken desire and to call forth sighs at every footstep they take, are often unaware that among the crowd of their admirers are numbered boys also, who have hardly outgrown the age of childhood, who kiss in secret every flower which their beloved has let fall, who are happy if they have been able to steal like thieves into the room in which the fair one has slept, who kiss the carpet where her foot has pressed, to whom she is the most wonderful creature in the universe. And when a young woman allows a boy to sit on the ground beside her, resting his head on her knee, when her fingers play lightly among his curls, how rarely does she know that his heart is beating furiously under her caressing touch; when he throws back his curly head, and she sees that his face is reddened, she does not know that this is not simply on account of the heat of the fire, but that he is glowing from the effect of an internal fire whose nature is a mystery even to himself—the fire of Love."[36]
Children have also ample experience of jealousy. A boy is tortured by its pangs when he sees his much-loved friend conversing with another. A girl of ten may suffer from sleepless nights when the governess she loves has spoken affectionately to another girl. A child may wait for hours before the door or in the neighbourhood of the beloved person, simply to snatch a glance in passing. Speaking generally, it appears to me that children are jealous of adults to a less extent than they are jealous of children of their own age.
Very frequently even in childhood sexuality gives rise to enduring imaginative sexual activity. There results that which Hufeland in his Makrobiotik terms psychical onanism, viz., the imaginative contemplation of a train of lascivious and voluptuous ideas. In many instances there even results a poetical treatment of the sexual topic.
Among children, love-letters also play their part. Sometimes, indeed, their contents is so harmless that the sexual motive remains unsuspected; but in other cases, the child's sentiments are clearly displayed, even when the whole character of the letter is extremely naïve. Sometimes the letter appears out of harmony with the child's conduct in other respects. For example, I have seen cases in which, though in conversation children spoke to one another in an impassioned manner as "darling" and "my dear love," no such expressions were used by them in their letters. Verses are also composed by comparatively youthful lovers. As we should expect, such verses are commonly deficient in the matter of artistic technique. A lady who, when twelve years of age, had been enamoured of her governess, copied for me from her album the following verses:—