"Es gibt nichts schöneres auf der Welt, Als wenn einem ein Wesen besonders gefällt; Und fühlt man sich gezogen hin Zu einer süssen Lehrerin, Das ist ein Glück. Und liebt man sie so inniglich, Dann fürchtet wohl gar sehr man sich Vorm Abschiedtag..." "Of all things sweet beneath the sun, The sweetest is to love but one; And when the object of one's fondness Is one's darling governess, Supreme the joy. And if one love her so intensely, Then, of course, one dreads immensely The day of parting...."
In this style the poem continues for some time, and occasionally we come to verses showing that jealousy was felt:—
"O! Du Pauline sei kein Dieb, Raub' mir nicht Fräulein ——'s Lieb'. Die Eifersucht, die quält mich sehr Und noch mit jedem Tage mehr. Sie sucht mich heim selbst in der Nacht. O Liebe, Du hast dies vollbracht." "Pauline, you my anger move, Stealing my Miss ——'s love. From jealousy I've no release; Day by day my pangs increase; I've jealous thoughts too in the night. Love, I suffer from thy might."
Many of the accompaniments of love may make their appearance the very first time the passion awakens, such as the desire to please and to astonish the object of affection, whether by mental or by bodily excellence, A schoolmaster, of whom a child is enamoured, will frequently find that this child is more obedient and more diligent than all the others, the child endeavouring in every possible way to inspire a reciprocal admiration. I remember a girl who during her first years at school was extremely idle. Although by no means lacking in intelligence, all the efforts spent on her failed to bring about a proper advance. All at once she became most industrious; no task was too hard for her, and everyone wondered at the sudden change, until after a time the enigma was explained. The child, having conceived a great fondness for her schoolmistress, wished to please the latter by attention to her lessons. In addition, she was jealous; afraid lest the mistress should prefer some other girl. In many instances, where a child's behaviour is puzzling, such a solution of the riddle will become apparent when it is looked for. Boys, again, endeavour by feats of strength to make the greatest possible impression upon the girls of their choice, in gymnastic exercises, for example, in athletic sports, and games. Coquetry also occasionally manifests itself very early in life. Girls try to please boys by their dress, and in similar ways. In boys also similar phenomena may often be observed.
Vanity, too, plays an important part, and this all the more because a child often wishes to appear older than his years, and despises childish ways. If a boy loves a girl several years older than himself, his sensitive pride will suffer if, as usually happens in such cases, the girl treats him as a child. Goethe, who at the age of ten was inspired by such a passion, describes it in Wahrheit und Dichtung. "Young Derones introduced me to his sister, who was a few years older than myself, a very agreeable girl, well-grown, regularly formed, a brunette, with black hair and eyes. Her whole expression was quiet, and even sad. I tried to please her in every possible way, but could not succeed in attracting her attention. Young girls are apt to regard themselves as greatly in advance of boys a little younger than themselves, and whilst they look up to young men, they assume the manners of an aunt towards any boy who makes them the object of his first love."
The sense of shame makes its appearance in childhood. Havelock Ellis and others indeed deny this, pointing out how readily shyness is mistaken for the sense of shame. The error is common enough, but it certainly does not apply to all cases, for even in childhood we often enough encounter distinct manifestations of the sexual sense of shame. I shall not here discuss the question to what extent this sense is innate and to what extent acquired, since the matter will come up for consideration in later part of this book. Unquestionably, during childhood, the sense of shame in respect of certain processes may be awakened by means of imitation and education. Thus we may observe that many children, boys as well as girls, are greatly distressed, at any rate during the second period of childhood, at having to undress in the presence of others, and especially in the presence of persons of the opposite sex. It is interesting to learn that many homosexuals declare that even during childhood they felt ashamed when they were compelled to undress before someone of their own sex, whereas in the presence of a person of the opposite sex they were comparatively unashamed.
Sanford Bell is of opinion that girl-children, although in them as in boys the sense of shame awakens comparatively early, are yet more aggressive than boys. I have not myself been able to observe any such difference. In the earlier years of childhood I have been unable to detect any notable difference in this respect between the sexes; but during the latter part of the second period of childhood, boys are unquestionably more active. In general, the girl-child, when in love, displays far less coyness and reserve than the young woman. In this respect the difference between children and adults is most marked. A girl of eleven, for example, will not make any difficulties about the exchange of love-letters with the boy she loves, or about appointments for secret meetings; whereas the young woman, at any rate when well-behaved and well brought up, is cautious in such matters. But none the less, I cannot admit that girls are more free in their behaviour in these respects than boys. We must not forget that many typical sexual differences do not develop until later in life; for this reason, if we observe in respect of the sense of shame that girls seem somewhat defective, we must contrast their condition with that which will subsequently develop as age advances, and not expect to find prematurely in the girl a keener sense of shame than is exhibited by the boy.
Sanford Bell believes that at a certain period during childhood, namely, between eight and twelve years of age, manifestations of love are less noticeable than either earlier or later. He alleges as the reason of this that at this particular age the child tends to conceal its fondness from others, and perhaps even from the person beloved; hence it is difficult during these years to observe the phenomena. According to this view, the difference is apparent merely, and depends only upon greater secretiveness. It may, indeed, be regarded as proved that in the course of development, especially in the case of boys, there are certain years during which children are less inclined to seek the company of those of the opposite sex than either before or afterwards. This occurs especially during the period of hobbledehoyhood, during which boys take pleasure above all in rough sports. It has, indeed, been suggested that this phenomenon has a teleological significance, that nature is here pursuing a quite definite aim, to minimise by means of sexual antipathy the danger attendant on the awakening of the sexual impulse. We must not, however, over-value this self-help of the part of nature [if it exists], since, if boys and girls avoid one another, the perverse activities of the undifferentiated sexual impulse may very readily appear in place of the suppressed heterosexual manifestations.
In the child, the moods of the amatory sentiment are exceedingly variable. To-day, the love may be romantic in character; to-morrow, on the other hand, rather sensual. To-day, a girl is enamoured of some friend of her father's; to-morrow, she is in love with some little friend of her brother's, or with one of her schoolmasters. A little later, a member of her own sex becomes the object of passion, a girl-friend of her own, or some actress of note. In general, especially, too, when the stage of the undifferentiated impulse has not been well-marked, we notice that as the years pass the inclination gradually comes to relate to older persons. Since the period of childhood embraces a comparatively small number of years, it is naturally not easy to establish this point with mathematical precision; but I have been led to form such an opinion by questioning a large number of persons of either sex. In this respect we sometimes observe that which, in the Satyricon of Petronius, Quartilla said long ago, when young Giton is united to the seven-year-old Pannychis. In free phraseology, Quartilla assures us that she has no remembrance of ever having been a virgin. "When I was a child, I made use of children for this purpose; as I became older, bigger boys served my turn; and thus, from stage to stage, I attained my present age."
Thus we can explain how it sometimes happens that a fondness conceived in childhood may endure on into adult life, and may even culminate in marriage. In large towns, indeed, such an occurrence is comparatively rare, but in small towns and in the country, quite a number of instances have been brought to my notice. As children, the two have grown up together. Their reciprocal fondness originated long prior to the formation of any conscious sexual sentiments; subsequently, when such sentiments have arisen, and the sexual impulse has awakened, it is natural that sexual relations should often ensue. Since in the country (in contrast with large towns, in which prostitution is commonly rampant) premarital sexual intercourse is comparatively frequent, we can readily understand that such a relationship as has been described will often culminate in marriage, for in the country marriage is far less often prevented by the occurrence of pre-marital intercourse than it is in large towns.