"And you, little father, how plain you have grown."
They led me towards the back entrance; I was met by my old wet-nurse, by whom I was welcomed back with sobs and tears, like the much-suffering Ulysses. They hastened to heat the bath. The cook, who in his long holiday had grown a beard, offered to cook my dinner or supper, for it was growing dark. The rooms hitherto occupied by my nurse and my late mother's maids were at once got ready for me. Thus I found myself in the humble home of my parents, and fell asleep in that room where three-and-twenty years before I had been born.
Some three weeks passed in business of various kinds. I was engaged with land judges, presidents, and every imaginable official of the province. Finally I got possession of my inheritance. I was contented: but soon the dulness of inaction began to torment me. I was not yet acquainted with my kind and venerable neighbour N—— Domestic occupations were altogether strange to me. The conversation of my nurse, whom I promoted to the rank of housekeeper, consisted of fifteen family anecdotes. I found them very interesting, but as she always related them in the same way she soon became for me another Niebuhr letter-writer, in which I knew precisely on what page every particular line occurred. That worthy book I found in the storeroom among a quantity of rubbish sadly dilapidated. I brought it out into the light and began to read it; but Kurganoff had lost his charm. I read him through once more and never after opened him again.
In this extremity it struck me:
"Why not write myself?" The reader has been already told that I was educated on copper money. Besides, to become an author seemed so difficult, so unattainable, that the idea of writing quite frightened me at first. Dare I hope ever to be numbered amongst writers, when my ardent wish even to meet one had not yet been gratified? This reminds me of something which I shall tell to show my unbounded enthusiasm for my native literature.
In 1820, while yet an ensign, I chanced to be on government business at Petersburg. I stayed a week; and although I had not one acquaintance in he place, I passed the time very pleasantly. I went daily to the theatre, modestly to the fourth row in the gallery. I learnt the names of all the actors and fell passionately in love with B——. She had played one Sunday with great artistic feeling as Eulalie in Hass und Reue (in English The Stranger.) In the morning, on my way from headquarters, I would call at a small confectioner's, drink a cup of chocolate, and read a literary journal. One day, while thus deep in an article "by Goodintention, some one in a pea-green greatcoat suddenly approached and gently withdrew the Hamburg Gazette from under my newspaper. I was so occupied that I did not look up. The stranger ordered a steak and sat down facing me. I went on reading without noticing him.
Meanwhile he finished his luncheon, scolded the waiter for some carelessness, drank half a bottle of wine, and left. Two young men were also lunching.
"Do you know who that was?" inquired one of them.
"That was Goodintention ... the writer."
"The writer!" I exclaimed involuntarily, and leaving the article unread and the cup of chocolate undrunk, I hastily paid my reckoning, and without waiting for the change rushed into the street. Looking round I descried in the distance the pea-green coat and dashed along the Nevsky Prospect almost at a run. When I had gone several steps I felt myself stopped by some one, and looking back I found I had been noticed by an officer of the guards. I; ought not to have knocked against him on the pavement, but rather to have stopped and saluted. After this reprimand I was more careful. Unluckily I met an officer every moment, and every moment I had to stop, while the author got farther and farther away. Never before had my soldier's overcoat proved so irksome, never had epaulettes appeared so enviable. At last near the Annitchkin Bridge I came up with the pea-green greatcoat.