“The Prime he said: 'Ime him.’
“I said: 'How about the mourners?’
“The Prime he said: 'All them which we could catch are here, exceptin the public executor, which is tired and has gone home. Ile fetch him if you would like to make his acquaint.’
“I thought a while, then I said: 'No, dont deprive him of his much needed rest. I met him in Illinoy.’
“Then the Prime looked at his watch and said: 'It is time for you to begin the remarks.’
“Then I rose my self up to my full highness and looked him in the eye, like I was a eagle, and said: 'The only remarks which I feel inspired for to make is that of all the gum dasted galoots and cantankers that I ever met you are the head center, the xtreme limit, the farthest north! If I had had you over in New Jersey, where your cries couldnt be heard up at the mercy seat, Ide lambaste you til your unbelievin soul would quit its tennement of mud and fly to evils that it knows not of!’
“Then, Johnny, I departed out of that place of wrath and tears by leaps and bounds and came back to the land of the free, where a feller which behaves hisself neednt hold his head on with both hands, where the Repubcan party scatters peace and plenty of offices oer a smilin land, and where if the Presdent was to die every day of his life a other would be elected without sacrificial rites.”
But if the public xecutor would come for to cut my head off cause the king died I would cleave him into twain!