Hay—Mr. Secretary, I beg that you will not swear. Remember that the President is a pillar of the church.

Root—What church?

Hay (scratching the head of the State Department)—I’m damned if I know. I belong myself to the Church of England.

Long—Let us proceed to business; the crisis waits.

Hay—Gentlemen (opening secret drawer in table), I have the honor to put before you a—[tumult within and beating of sticks on the door.] What’s that?

Root—The Filipinos!—the Filipinos! Where is Corbin?

Long—Sounds like the Democratic party.

Hay—Ah, I forgot; it is the correspondents. I have the honor to put before you, with appropriate glasses, a bottle of pure Kentucky Bourbon fifty-five years old—a gift from Governor Taylor to the President. As the President drinks nothing——

Long—What!

Root—What!