From Lancaster, Penn., April 29, he writes to his sister:
"My feelings are usually buoyant, except occasionally when imagination wanders back to departed days; then comes over me a shadow, which, by its frequency, I am now enabled to dispel without violence, and even to dwell upon without injury."
(TO ABBOTT LAWRENCE.)
"Baltimore, May 25, 1819.
"Dear Brother: I arrived in this city this morning, in the steamboat, from Norfolk, and have found a number of letters from you and brother W. From the present aspect of affairs in this city, I fear that I shall make but a short stay. At no period has the face of affairs been more trying to the feelings of the citizens. Baltimore has never seen but two days which will compare with last Friday: one of those was the mob day, the other was the day of the attack by the British.
"Nearly one half the city, embracing its most active and hitherto wealthiest citizens, have stopped or must stop payment. Confidence is prostrated, capital vanished.
"I am rejoiced to hear of your easy situation, and hope it may continue. Avoid responsibilities, and all is well with us. I am in no wise avaricious, and of course care not whether we make five thousand dollars more or less, if we risk twenty thousand to do it.
"I have a high eulogium to pay the Virginians, which I must reserve for another letter; as also an account of my travels from Petersburg."
In a letter to a friend, dated at Baltimore, he says:
"Since I have been here, I have been constantly occupied; and, although the heavy cloud which overhangs this city is discharging its contents upon their heads, they bear it well, resolving that, if they are poor, they will not be unsocial, nor uncivil, and on this principle they meet in little groups, without much style or ceremony, and pass sensible and sociable evenings together.
"I have really become very much interested in some of the people here.
"And now my advice to you is, get married, and have no fear about the expense being too great. If you have two children born unto you within a twelve-month, you will be the richer man for it. Nothing sharpens a man's wits, in earning property and using it, better than to see a little flock growing up around him. So I say again, man, fear not."
On his return, it seems to have been his object to interest himself as much as possible in business, and thus endeavor to divert his mind from those painful associations, which, in spite of all his efforts, would sometimes obtain the mastery. In the mean time, he had given up his house, and resided in the family of his brother Abbott; where he was welcomed as an inmate, and treated with so much sympathy and considerate kindness, that his mind, after a time, recovered its tone: his health was restored, and he was once more enabled to give his full powers to the growing interests of his firm. For the few succeeding years, he was engaged in the usual routine of mercantile affairs, and has left but few memorials or letters, except those relating to his business. In the winter of 1820, he made a visit to New York, which he describes in his diary under date of February 15, 1846:
"Yesterday was one of the most lovely winter days. To-day the snow drives into all the cracks and corners, it being a boisterous easterly snow-storm, which recalls to my mind a similar one, which I shall never forget, in February, 1820.
"I went to New York during that month, for the New England Bank, with about one hundred thousand dollars in foreign gold, the value of which by law at the mint was soon to be reduced from eighty-seven to eighty-five cents per pennyweight, or about that. I also had orders to buy bills with it, at the best rate I could. Accordingly I invested it, and had to analyze the standing of many who offered bills, as drawers or endorsers.
"Some of the bills were protested for non-acceptance, and were returned at once, and damages claimed. This was new law in New York, and resisted; but the merchants were convinced by suits, and paid the twenty per cent. damages. The law of damage was altered soon after.
"On my return, I took a packet for Providence, and came at the rate of ten knots an hour for the first seven hours of the night. I was alarmed by a crash, which seemed to me to be breaking in the side of the ship, within a few inches of my head. I ran upon deck, and it was a scene to be remembered. Beside the crew, on board were the officers of a wrecked vessel from Portsmouth, N. H., and some other old ship-masters, all at work, and giving directions to a coaster, which had run foul of us, and had lost its way. By favor and labor, we were saved from being wrecked; but were obliged to land at some fifteen miles from Providence, and get there as we could through the snow. I arrived there almost dead with headache and sickness. Madam Dexter and her daughter left the day before, and reached home in perfect safety before the storm. Such are the scenes of human life! Here am I enjoying my own fireside, while all who were then active with me in the scenes thus recalled are called to their account, excepting Philip Hone, M. Van Schaick, N. Goddard, Chancellor Kent, and his son-in-law, Isaac Hone."