The Ego Rampant. The proprietor of a hotel in a Western town, who lived a few blocks from his inn, was annoyed when his wife refused more and more frequently to come and keep him company at the hotel in the evenings.
When a young lawyer took up his residence at the hotel, however, she never failed to put in an appearance, regardless of the weather or of her health, which she had used so often as excuses for staying at home.
Later on, detectives supplied him with enough grounds to secure a divorce. Curiously enough, what brought forth the greatest display of anger on his part when he recalled the incident, was not the thought of the caresses which his wife and the other man may have exchanged. His humiliation was indescribable when he realised that the other man had wielded more influence upon his wife than he had himself. "One night," he said to me, "when she came down thru a heavy snowstorm, just to see him, I could have killed her."
Sexless Jealousy. All the foregoing tends to show that jealousy has very little to do with sex. Many domestic animals evince violent jealousy when their masters show attentions to strange animals. A feud may be precipitated among the household pets when the dog beholds his mistress petting the cat and conversely. Fox terriers often attempt to bite people who shake hands with their master or, in friendly ways, lay hands on him.
Likewise, it was jealousy which drove Cain to slay Abel and which caused Joseph to suffer many indignities at the hands of his brothers.
A Freudian might say that Cain and Joseph's brothers were seeking the father's (God's) homosexual love and begrudged whatever of it was lavished on their victims. Adler would more plausibly suggest that the prestige and power wielded by Joseph and Abel were too much of an irritant for their inferior and greedy brothers.
In other spheres than the sexual sphere, we notice that success won by undisputed superiors or absolute inferiors does not arouse our jealousy. A young pianist does not resent honors bestowed upon Paderewksy, nor does Paderewsky begrudge the stripling his early success. Jealousy, on the other hand, rages among great artists of about the same rank. In the first case, superiority or inferiority is taken for granted. In the case of equals competing for the same laurels inferiority is "feared."
Husbands and Lovers. Many men feel no jealousy over the caresses their mistress may receive from her husband. The husband has been defeated by the lover, hence is "absolutely" inferior.
The same, it goes without saying, applies to women in love with a married man. Many men, in fact, prefer to have extramatrimonial affairs with married women and many women with married men. They no longer fear the husband or wife whom they have defeated in the struggle for his or her mate's favor. They consider him or her as a watchful guardian of their mistress's or their lover's sexual life, less formidable than an unknown man or woman might be, who had not been defeated yet.
The suttee custom in India, the various wills left by Western men or women, providing that the surviving spouse shall be disinherited if he or she marries again, shows that jealousy has little to do with love, sexual or affectionate. That posthumous jealousy is a distinct attempt at controlling one's "property" after one's death, whether the property be a woman or a certain sum of money.