Handy in Case of Emergencies.
During the fall of 1863, Uncle Abe was riding on the Virginia side of the Potomac, between Arlington Heights and Alexandria, accompanied by Dr. N———— of New Jersey. Passing the huge earth-work fortifications, the Doctor observed: "Mr. President, I have never yet been enabled to discover the utility of constructing and maintaining those forts. What is your opinion about them?"
"Well doctor," replied Uncle Abe, "you are a medical man! and I will ask you a question in the line of your profession. Can you tell me the use of a man's nipples?"
"No I can't" said the doctor "Well I can tell you," said Uncle Abe,—"They would be mighty handy if he happened to have a child."
Value of a Reputation.
A client of Uncle Abe's was tried for stealing, in Springfield, Illinois, when it was satisfactorily proven that he had acknowledged the theft to several persons. Uncle Abe argued in behalf of his client that he was such an abominable liar that no one could believe him and the jury ought not to. The judge charged against the prisoner, but to his astonishment the jury brought in a verdict that the accused was entirely unworthy of belief; and he was therefore acquitted.