Didn't Like the Name.
A young U. S. Officer being indicted at Chicago, for an assault on an aged gentleman, Uncle Abe began to open the case thus: "this is an indictment against a soldier for assaulting an old man."
"Sir," indignantly interrupted the defendant, "I am no soldier, I am an officer!"
"I beg your pardon," said Abe, grinning blandly; "then, gentlemen of the jury, this is an indictment against an officer, who is no soldier, for assaulting an old man."
Uncle Abe's Good Bye.
When Uncle Abe joined the Sangamon Militia and entered on the Black Hawk war campaign, his Colonel was a small snipe of a fellow about four feet three inches. Physically, of course, Uncle Abe looked down upon his Colonel. Abe had rather a slouching look and gait at that time, and attracted by his awkward appearance, the dapper little Colonel thus saluted the future Executive and manufacturer of both Colonels and Brigadiers. "Come, Uncle Abe, hold up your head; higher, fellow!"
"Yes sir."
"Higher, fellow—higher." Abe stretched his lank neck to its greatest altitudinous tension and said, "What—so, Sir?"