“Yes,” Leila said, “that will be a delightful subject.”
“I don’t know that,” Matilda replied; “you are forgetting about the governess; she is to be here very soon, if she can come. Mamma wrote to her this morning; she bid me hold the taper when she was sealing the letter, and I could not help thinking how nice it would be if I could give a little push and set the letter on fire.”
“Oh, Matilda,” Selina exclaimed, “how sorry you make me; why do you talk in this way and why should your future life not be happy because we are to have a governess to save mamma trouble; you know she is not very strong, and she is not able to manage us herself.”
“To manage me, you should say, Selina; but how can my future life be happy, when she will be for ever finding fault with me?”
“But why do you think so? It is quite in your own power to go on happily with her; she will not find fault with you unless you deserve it, and surely you would not wish to grow up in your faults; you could not have a happy future life if you are not good, for you have a conscience, Matilda, and after a little you are always sorry when you do wrong.”
“I am, Selina; you know me very well; but then I am so often bad, and so often sorry, that there is no great happiness about my life after all, even though I have not a governess. Well, we shall see if she makes this great change.”
“She cannot make the change, Matilda, she can only tell you what is right; and you cannot do it either, of yourself. You must pray for the Spirit of God to come into your heart, and to make you really sorry for your faults, and really anxious to do what is right.”
“But I am really anxious,” Matilda answered; “and I am always wishing I could be as good as you are.”
“I wish you would not say that so often; I am not good.”
“Oh, if you are not good, and you expect me to be better than you are, it is a bad business! I need not try.”