Odeon thought for a moment, then shook his head. "Don't bother. It's pretty clear that someone who can command fleets would have a lot more effect against invaders than a Strike Force officer who's been ordered off active duty. Which means I could do more for the people I love by leaving them than I could by staying with them." He paused, then shook his head. "And that hurts too—especially since one of the public things is that Rangers don't have any close personal ties, so if I take the job, I won't even love them any more. Will I?"
Medart hesitated, but he couldn't either lie or refuse to answer. "No, you won't. That's an emotion I've never had, other than maybe for the Empire as a whole. Liking and respect for individuals, yes—love, no."
"And I won't miss it. I think that may be the worst." Odeon sighed. "But you hit me in my vulnerable spot, Jim, and I think you know it. I've spent my entire adult life doing my damndest to protect and help people; if I can get past my spiritual problem, I'm going to have to accept the job."
"If it's any consolation, none of us asked for the job, or particularly wanted it—my own plans were to go through the Academy, have a Naval career, and then retire to Herbert's World with a cattle ranch. Every one of us, Corina included, took it on out of a sense of obligation."
34. Transformation
Odeon was right; he didn't get any sleep. He'd left Medart as soon as a messenger from the ship delivered the materials the Ranger had ordered, and spent the next few hours comparing the Traditional Catholic Bible with the one he knew so well, and studying their doctrines.
With the exception of a couple of name changes, the Final Coming, and the Third Aspect being the Holy Spirit instead of the Protector—and, of course, the accommodations the Systems Church had made for Enforcement and the Satyr Plague—the two were almost identical. Where they differed otherwise were matters of discipline, with the Systems version stricter. It was even possible, he told himself, that the Third Aspect used both names, and the Protector's appearance in the Systems didn't rule out Jeshua's Second Coming to the rest of the Empire. It did bother him that Jim had said the Protector was limited to the Systems, but he reminded himself yet again that a mortal could never truly understand the Mind of God; all he could do was accept.
It wouldn't be difficult for him to make the necessary adjustments, either, though he'd definitely have to see the Terran Pope if he decided to take up either of Jim's offers. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to tell him Pope Lucius' true identity, even though he was certain it wouldn't be believed. But it wouldn't hurt to tell him about having the Systems Pope's permission to celebrate Mass more than once a day, and find out what would be expected of a priest who was also a Ranger.
Odeon sighed when he got to that point. He'd managed to avoid facing the fact so far, but he couldn't put it off forever; by bringing his Family's welfare into the equation, Jim had made it impossible for him to turn the job down. He'd known that even then, he thought, but he hadn't wanted to accept it.