"But every one was out," she told Mrs. Lathrop, as they met by the fence along towards nine o'clock, "'n' oh my! you'd ought to 'a' been there. Mrs. Craig's found her cat, 'n' that takes the lead, for she come back of her own accord from a place where no one 'd ever 'a' expected her to come back from."
"Where did—" asked Mrs. Lathrop eagerly.
"Come up in the well-bucket," replied Miss Clegg promptly,—"she come up in the well-bucket this afternoon all but her tail, 'n' they think Augustus must 'a' strained that throwin' her in by it 'n' so it soaked off extra easy. Mrs. Craig went for him the minute she see the cat, but, lor', you can't get nothin' out o' Augustus; he jus' said, 'Wash zhat?—Zhat a cat?—Zhi a cat?—Zhu a cat?' 'n' Mrs. Craig was too mad f'r words. She says 't they've been noticin' a curious taste in the water, but not bein' in the habit o' drinkin' the house cat, they never thought of its bein' him. She's troubled over findin' the cat 'n' troubled some more over not findin' the tail. She says Mr. Craig says 't he wouldn't consider for one second cleanin' out a well for a trifle like a cat's tail, 'n' yet, for her part, she ain't noways inclined to keep on livin' on cat's hairs indefinitely. She says 't Mr. Craig says 't she can easy fish the tail up with the well-bucket, but fishin' for suthin' 's you can't see ain't so funny as a woman's husband 's apt to make out. 'S far 's my observation 's 'xtended, a man always gives his wife to understand that what'd be a bother or mebbe impossible for him to do 'll be jus' a pleasant afternoon for her. I took it on myself to tell her that very same thing. 'Let him fish that tail himself for a day or two,' I says; 'about the six hundred an' fortieth time 't he winds up that bucket 'n' finds himself still short o' that tail I'll venture my guess 't he won't find the joke 's fine 's he did at first.' But she was too used up to know when she was havin' good common-sense talked to her; she jus' kep' wipin' her eyes, 'n' then Mrs. Sperrit drove up 'n' the whole rigmarole had to be gone over again for her. I mus' say that she behaved kind of un-neighborly, f'r she laughed fit to kill herself, 'n' Mrs. Craig was nigh to put out over such doin's,—'n' the cat not dead a week yet; but when Mrs. Sperrit got through laughin' she made up f'r it all, for she said if Mrs. Craig was willin' she'd take Augustus home with her. Mrs. Craig couldn't believe she was in earnest at first, 'n' then she wept again with sheer joy. 'N' what do you think 't Mrs. Sperrit did?—Took Augustus straight across to Mr. Shores 'n' bought a dog-collar 'n' a chain for him 'n' buckled it on right then and there. 'I'll engage he don't throw no cats down no wells out on the farm,' she says, 'n' then off she drove with the youngster sittin' up beside her prim 's a poodle."
"Did you hear—" asked Mrs. Lathrop, chewing pleasantly.
"I see Mrs. Brown," Susan continued calmly,—"she was down in the square. Seems 't young Dr. Brown didn't get to observe Henry Ward Beecher like he expected. He 'n' Amelia went over to Meadville, 'n' mebbe they'll go on to the city from there, f'r his practice is spreadin' so 't he's got to buy a bigger borin'-machine, 'n' he wants a lot more bastin' thread an' needles. But Henry Ward Beecher was up 'n' doin' as usual last night. He skum two pans o' milk 'n' didn't put the covers back, so a June bug got in. Mrs. Brown says Mrs. Craig 's welcome to drink her cat if she favors the idea, but she ain't drinkin' no June bugs herself, so she had to give the complete pan to the pigs. 'N' he eat more too!—he eat ajar o' watermelon pickles 'n' all the calves-foot jelly 't was all ready f'r old Mrs. Grace. It's a serious matter about the jelly, for Mrs. Grace 's most dead 'n' all the calves in town is alive, 'n' so where any more jelly 's to be got in time the Lord only knows. Mrs. Brown thinks some one 'd ought to write to the minister; she says it ain't possible 's he's always eat like this nights 'n' she wants to know how to put a stop to it. Mrs. Allen thinks 't some one 'd ought to write to the minister too. She says 't Sam 'n' Felicia was down on the bridge last night a-holdin' hands. She says Polly saw 'em.
"'N' Gran'ma Mullins is another as thinks 't some one 'd ought to write to the minister. She was down town a-buyin' some honey to put on little Jane's thumb. She's all but stark mad. She says mice 'n' moths is goin' to be mere jokes to her hereafter. She says 'f the minister don't come back soon little Jane 'll have her sucked out o' bed 'n' board. She says little Jane 's like him in the history 't where he chewed the grass never grew again. There seems to be considerable anxiety 's to when the minister 'll get back. Nobody thought to ask him where he was goin', 'n' as a consequence nobody knows where he's gone. Nobody thought to ask him when he was comin' back, 'n' 's a consequence no one knows when he's thinkin' o' comin' back. Mr. Kimball says 't his view o' the matter is as the minister was tired o' havin' thirteen children 'n' is gone off somewhere else to begin all over. Fun or not, the idea 's sort of upset every one. They went down to see where he bought his ticket for, but Johnny says he only took it to the junction, 'n' my own experience is 't a junction may lead to 'most anythin'. Mrs. Macy says 's there's only one way to be sure whether he's gone for good or not, 'n' that is to go up to the house 'n' see whether he took his ear-muffs along, for it stands to reason 't any man who 'd pack his ear-muffs a week like this ain't intendin' to ever return. Every one see the sense o' that, 'n' so Mrs. Macy 's app'inted herself to go 'n' look the house over to-morrow mornin'. I must say 't 'f she don't find them ear-muffs the c'mmunity 'll be pretty blue to-morrow night. No one knew how fond they was of the minister until they begin to find out what them thirteen childern come to when you add 'em all up separately. I d'n' know's I ever was so glad of anythin' in my life 's I am that I drew No. 14 out o' Mrs. Craig's sugar-bowl. Fate 's a strange thing when you look it under 'n' over 'n' hind end to, Mrs. Lathrop,—there was me drawin' No. 14 'n' Mrs. Craig herself gettin' Augustus, 'n' all on account of a sugar-bowl, 'n' that sugar-bowl hers 'n' not mine."
Mrs. Lathrop applied her clover, but said nothing.
"Well, I d'n' know as there's any good to be gained out o' our standin' here chattin' any longer. We'd better be gettin' to bed 'n' thankin' our merciful Father 't we hav'n't got none o' the minister's children, 'n' that's a prayer 's not many c'n put up this night."
Mrs. Lathrop threw her clover away and returned to her own domicile.